(Click here to skip the apologetics and jump straight to the countdown.)

I have been wondering for a couple years now whether I should post this or not.

One thing I’m passionate about is music videos. As you may remember, one of my earliest posts on this blog was my Top Ten Greatest Music Videos. While writing that post, I debated intensely with myself, and eventually opted not to include any hip-hop/rap videos, even though I love a great many of those; for one, because I just love so many of them that it would have made the list way too long… but also, I decided that I wanted to keep that list clean and “safe for work,” and to be honest, was worried about whether it was even morally okay for me as a Catholic to publicly promote such music. Like, how could I be posting about modesty in women’s attire one week, and then posting about my favorite rap videos the next?! Isn’t that hypocritical and sending a mixed message?

I am, apparently, just full of contradictions. Whatever. Aren’t we all. I’m tired of pretending I’m not.

I may end up having doubts and deleting this post in a matter of weeks or months, but, right now, I’m inclined to think it’s probably not so bad for me to talk about this music, or to enjoy it on occasion, as long as it’s just for funsies and I’m not taking it too seriously or seeing these artists as role models or anything.

I have found that, indeed, I enjoy hip-hop with a different part of my brain than I do my other, more “serious” music. Really, I’m just your typical obnoxious white millennial dabbler — the kind that serious rap aficionados probably loathe. Even though I get a kick out of this stuff, it’s not like I’m the kind of fan who idolizes rappers, goes to live shows, buys merch, mingles with the hip-hop community, or lives the lifestyle at all. I’m not trying to do any of that. So, I dunno, after all my soul-searching on this topic, I’ve come to think it’s probably fine for me to enjoy this music, since I’m 37 and pretty self-aware about my music listening habits and how they serve me or don’t.

But there is another ethical concern at play as well. I’m no “serious” fan, and not a member of the rap community at all — so what right do I have, then, to publish a list of the “Greatest” music videos in this genre? I’m just some middle aged white stay-at-home mom. How dare I try to speak on this at all? How dare I try to assert that any work or creator in this genre is “superior” to any other, when I don’t know its ins and outs or subtleties nor participate in the lifestyle nor really relate at all to the lives that these artists are living. What do I know? And how dare I?

Here is my justification.

This list, like most things on this blog, is all in fun. Genuine hip-hop connoisseurs might disagree with me on these rankings, and that’s valid. However, I don’t think their validity entirely invalidates my opinions, which are, after all, just that: merely subjective opinions and preferences, like a list of my favorite ice cream flavors or favorite breeds of horse.

I can have an opinion, can’t I? (Even if it’s bad?) These music videos may belong to a certain culture, not mine, but I think that even non-members of a culture are allowed to observe and enjoy that culture’s artistic offerings. Enjoying is not the same as appropriating, is it? It’s not like I’m over here trying to perform, talk, dress, and/or live like these artists in any way. I am simply appreciating their work.

Artistic talent and quality entertainment transcend cultures, don’t they? Which is why, e.g., even white people sometimes get deeply into manga and anime, and why some white Americans convert to the Russian Orthodox Church, etc. … and why a lame old white lady like myself can enjoy videos like these. Having examined my conscience, I really don’t think that’s a crime.

It’s funny. Personality-wise, I am as white as they come, and pretty much the polar opposite of everything that rap culture represents. I mean, when I was in school, kids in the “rap culture” clique used to pick on me mercilessly, because I was just so alien to them — fair enough. We lived totally different lives. But from across that vast social distance, from like an amateur sociological/anthropological POV, rap culture is so fascinating to me, the same way Japanese or Russian cultures are to some people. I appreciate it so much. And it’s just one of many niche subcutures of the larger Black American culture, which is endlessly beautiful and fascinating and rich, and one of the coolest aspects of modern-day America for sure; I love it, love to learn about it, observe it, and admire it — as do many white folks, it seems, as many of our trends were apparently started by Black folks and only made mainstream by white folks. I try not to be an appropriater, although to some extent it’s probably inevitable when you live in a multiracial society. I don’t wish I were Black. I am perfectly happy being white, and feel very grounded in my whiteness, but also, I love what Black people do for our country culturally and artistically. Including rap and hip-hop (which I fully realize represents just a sliver of Black music — not its entirety; I just meant that rap as we know it obviously was invented by Black folks and belongs to them). So I like to celebrate their culture without trying to feign any kind of ownership or real knowledge.

Not that my opinion really matters, since I’m white and all, but, having pondered this a lot, I think heartfelt respect and admiration, coupled with a healthy acknowledgement of our insurmountable differences, are probably, in fact, a kind of cure for the whole cultural appropriation problem that so many people are upset about.

So: having given it some serious thought, I like to think that, maybe, me writing a post like this actually falls slightly on the “ethically good” end of the axis, rather than in the “ethically questionable” territory or on the “impermissible” end, as I originally feared.

Now that I’ve examined my motivations exhaustively, and hopefully justified my actions, let’s get on to the fun part! Here, without further ado, are my top ten(-ish) favorite hip-hop & rap videos of all time:

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18. “MotorSport” by Migos, Nicki Minaj, & Cardi B. Okay, this one happens to require my longest blurb out of all eighteen on this list; the rest are much shorter, I promise, so stay with me. “MotorSport:” the visuals, color scheme, everything, all just match the song perfectly. And what a rare treat, to have Nicki and Cardi, who famously hate each other, together on the same track — even if their verses are directly attacking each other, which actually makes it funnier. Their beef makes me kinda sad tbh, because I like both of them very much — but, I guess such beef is a core element of rap culture, and to some degree inevitable. Fierce competition and all. As you can probably guess (or, as you already know if you saw this post), in the Cardi/Nicki battle I lean more toward the Team Nicki side. Several reasons. She’s more of my generation (she and Lil Wayne basically defined the ’00s-’10s, which was the era of my youth and my personal favorite era in hip-hop); also, I like how she stands up for her conservative Christian values. But mostly because she’s insanely talented, has more artistic versatility and lyrical finesse than any other female rapper I’ve ever heard, and, as far as I can tell, basically singlehandedly invented every other female rapper out there today. Which is not meant to be a dig at any other artist. Nicki is undeniably the trendsetter, is all I’m saying. — But, what do I know. Anyway, getting back to this video, “MotorSport” is such a priceless artifact, a snapshot of an irrevocable moment in time, not only because of Nicki & Cardi, but also of course because of Cardi & Offset’s divorce (devastating! — I’m still so bummed about it; loved them as a couple) and, even worse, Takeoff’s tragic death. Migos was so good while they lasted. This video is really kind of sad now, in retrospect.

17. “Princess Diana” by Ice Spice & Nicki Minaj. They’re both just so cool and pretty, and this video is just a simple celebration of how cool and pretty they both are. What’s not to like! Plus, I love the mutual respect that they had at this time. Apparently there was some drama after this, and they aren’t so cool with each other anymore now, but I really enjoyed the way they supported each other’s careers back in like 2024. They complement each other so well stylistically, too.

16. “Quarantine Thick” by 2 Chainz ft. Latto. 💀 I can’t! Bro really sat down and wrote a whole song about how, during the Covid lockdown, lots of us sat at home snacking and avoiding the gym and becoming “quarantine thick” (he means this as a compliment). Shameless. And obviously Latto is always a feast for the eyes, and graces every track that she touches — I just adore her.

15. “Don’t Stop” by Megan Thee Stallion ft. Young Thug. This one makes me smile every time. Costumes, makeup, choreography, poses — all impeccable. The Alice in Wonderland theme is gorgeous and fits perfectly; I can’t decide which look of hers in this video is my favorite, but probably the pink Cheshire Cat. Megan is such a cool and beautiful individual, and a joy to behold.

14. “On God” by Latto. I just love the exaggerated humor and energy in this song and video, with all the bright colors; and all of Latto’s looks in it, especially the yellow one, are fire.

13. “Rake It Up” by Yo Gotti ft. Nicki Minaj. Such a mesmerizing video: from the cartoonish caricature of middle-class suburbia, to Blac Chyna’s little cameo, to that gorgeous model/actress who walks out in slo-mo around 0:47 — for sure one of the prettiest and most memorable models in a rap video ever, imo; this one was brilliantly styled and directed all-around. Nicki as always is an incredible performer, and this is one example of her at her best, imo.

12. “Rock Your Hips” by 310babii & Saweetie. Who is 310babii? I dunno, I haven’t heard anything else of his yet, not that I can recall; as far as I can tell here, he is a good supporting role for the superstar, queen, and absolute breathtaking vision that is Saweetie; imo, she completely dominated this song and video; I wish her verse were longer. As I’ve said before, I think she has got to be one of the most classically beautiful female celebrities out there right now in any genre — like, she is literally designed just like a Disney princess. Enchanting. Great voice too. Typically I don’t love when music videos have little intros and intermissions that chop up the song and make it into a little movie with dialogue and a whole plot; but in this case, it’s funny and concise and it works. I’ve never seen golf, which is stereotypically a stuffy rich old white guy hobby, gone rap before; who would’ve thought, it works so hilariously well.

11. “Walk” by Tay Money. Tay Money is the coolest! Such a lovable individual. Her colorful y2k aesthetic is delicious. I feel like this video is a snapshot of her personality as an artist: the colorful hair, the gas station convenience store candy, the cute dogs on leashes — all such a vibe.

10. “High School” by Nicki Minaj & Lil Wayne. Nicki and Lil Wayne play a romantic couple in this video, which is sort of like a Romeo and Juliet story but with a happy ending. Which is funny, because apparently, despite all the rumors, they never actually dated irl, and have a rock-solid brother/sisterly Platonic friendship. I just think it’s hilarious how they’re constantly teasing their audience with these rumors (like in this video, or like when they’re swapping lines in “Good Form” (see #9 below) and he goes “it’s the President” to which she responds “Monica what they call me” — lol). They do have great chemistry, at least as performers. This video is very romantic and sexy without being too over-the-top pornographic the way some rap videos are these days (see: Cardi B and Offset’s video for “Clout,” if you’re into that).

9. “Good Form” by Nicki Minaj & Lil Wayne. Yup, this is another of their masterpieces. What I like about this video is how, like #18 above, the video is a perfect visual representation of the way the song sounds, with the colors, flashing lights, the pacing, everything. And obviously, Nicki bathing in a big bowl of milk while rapping about cookies is iconic. My favorite moment, though, is Nicki’s smile and wave at approximately 3:38 while Wayne raps “Hi, Mom“, lol.

8. “The Brightside” by Lil Peep. I didn’t discover Lil Peep until 2018, just a few months after his death. Instantly I was fascinated by his story and by him as a character, and for a minute there I got really into some of his songs. Including this one. I know a lot of people kind of laugh at Lil Peep and dismiss him, but in all seriousness, I think he was a genius. A lot of rappers have a sort of a dull and dead-eyed stare… no shade, it’s part of the attitude, I’m sure they practice it and cultivate it; but Lil Peep, he had such intelligent and haunted eyes, a certain vulnerability. Imo, he was his generation’s Kurt Cobain. What a beautiful child, what a tragic life — and what catchy music. This has got to be one of his saddest videos. Assembled after his death from footage of him at his shows, on tours, and just hanging out and goofing around, it creates a little eulogy, a portrait of him as a performer but also as a suffering human and a young kid who was trying his best. Every time I watch it, I feel for him (and his mom) so deeply, like especially the scenes where he’s riding in the back of the car, which are somehow especially poignant.

7. “Gyatt” by Ice Spice & Latto. Ah, I’m no better than a man, apparently. What a masterpiece though! This video always cracks me up (tbh the word “gyatt” always cracks me up, regardless of context). And it’s especially clever because of the public beef between these two artists. The video stages a MMA-style fight between them, with scenes in the locker room, pre-match interviews, and in the ring. The poses and expressions are all hilarious, and both girls are incredibly pretty. Unfortunately, something tells me this collaboration doesn’t mean a reconciliation between the two; I’m no expert, and don’t spend a ton of time reading about this or anything, but as far as I can tell from this song and from social media, they still seem pretty frosty toward each other. Alas; again, I guess it comes with the territory, in this genre. I have so many favorite moments from this video, but my top favorite is Latto making that smug little face and waving her hands up at the end while the audience is cheering.

6. “Circus” by Tay Money. I love how natural and unscripted and low-budget (in a good way) it feels — so real and authentic, with plenty of real people partying in it, and very true to Tay’s Texas origins. Her sass is unrivalled (“heard you switched your style, glad you did, it wasn’t working” LOL). I could not imagine a more perfect video for this song.

5. “Mamushi” by Megan Thee Stallion ft. Yuki Chiba. This one isn’t even a special personal favorite or something I’m emotionally attached to, like some others on this list — it’s simply a cinematic work of art. Like, objectively speaking. I love Megan’s love of Japanese culture! Speaking of all that “cultural appropriation” business I was discussing above: this video is a masterclass in how artists can engage with and be inspired by other cultures’ art, without selfishly taking it over or turning it into a gimmick. Beautiful job to everyone who created it. Even if you don’t like rap, you might appreciate this one.

4. “Purple Lamborghini” by Skrillex & Rick Ross. One thing about me is, I actually loathe superhero movies. Cannot stand them. I’ve never seen Suicide Squad, and don’t care to. However… for the duration of this music video, as I’m watching, I always think: “man, this looks like a cool movie!” — and then, as soon as the song ends, my sanity returns and I revert to my normal self. The song and video are phenomenal together. See, I was in college, and in the middle of my “clubbing” phase, when Skrillex first got really popular, so he and his weird dubstep style will always have a place in my heart. The way he and Rick Ross vibe together — whew! Watching this video feels just like three coffees no lunch.

3. “Benz Truck” by Lil Peep. My fav of his videos; I haven’t seen any other music video quite like it, and it’s so him. The setting and the color palette of this video are so specific, so evocative, so chilling. I literally feel cold every time I watch this. Lil Peep apparently had/has a huge fanbase in Russia, and I love that this is a nod to them as well. Most of all, though, I love the shots of him in the old churchyard and cemetery — the proximity to death, eternity, and holiness, juxtaposed with all his pink hair and tattoos and iced-out teeth and his overmedicated, DGAF demeanor — in light of his story, it’s really powerful imagery. Plus, the way he’s chasing those sheep around, lol — “Little Bo Peep” reference? I love every second of it, even though it makes me really sad.

2. “23” by Mike WiLL Made-It ft. Miley Cyrus, Wiz Khalifa, & Juicy J. Come on, what did you expect, to not see “23” on this list?! Is there anyone alive who doesn’t love this song? I’m pretty sure everyone loves this song, and the video totally does it justice. Whoever came up with the concept of a high school, with Miley as the cheerleader queen bee and Wiz Khalifa in the chemistry lab (lol): genius-tier work. The energy is incredible. Never have I loved Miley so much, and probably never will again. The best moment: her little “2-3” hand gesture exactly in time to the words at approximately 3:07.

And finally: the greatest rap video of all time:

1. “Birthday Song” by 2 Chainz & Kanye West. This… oh man. How do I even begin. This is not only the coolest rap video of all time, but probably one of the coolest music videos ever, in any genre. It’s weird, it’s surreal, it’s high fashion, it’s a whole trip. Both 2 Chainz and Kanye were at their peak, here. The video is so bizarre — you just have to see it, if you haven’t already. My theory is that the song is pretty much a pure club anthem, about as un-erudite as it gets (“she got a big booty, so I call her Big Booty”), so, they had to do a really highbrow, modern art-type video that’s also dirty and trashy, but in like a Vogue magazine kind of way, to at once re-emphasize and elevate the themes of the song. It feels weirdly personal, like the creators were drawing on real life, and it’s kind of uncomfortable, as good art sometimes is. It’s self-aware, it’s funny, it’s creepy, it’s just brilliant. Superb work, everyone — standing ovation from me, every time.

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So do you think I chose well? Any favorites? Are there any others that you’d add to this list? Surely there are tons that I forgot about or just didn’t have room for. Also, what are your thoughts on cultural appropriation? Leave me all of your comments!