It’s been a while — almost three months — since I posted about a book! Because, I’m sad to admit, it’s been that long since I read a book. (A novel, that is; of course I’m always picking at various works of nonfiction, mostly spiritual and/or parenting-related.)
The problem is, it happened again: I lost the battle. My black/white thinking got the best of me. I got eleven books in and started to think: “hmm, now that I’m back in the habit of reading books, I should really try to read more High Quality Literature. I should stop reading just-for-fun junk!”
… which inevitably leads to these episodes of paralysis at the library, as I try to decide which books in their limited selection are Worth My Time and Good For Me, but also manageable enough for me to actually read (and hopefully enjoy), with my weak intellect and limited free time; and, inevitably, I end up saying “forget it” and leaving empty-handed, figuring if I can’t read Good Books, then I just won’t read at all.
Which leads to me, bookless, in my free time just mindlessly scrolling and re-scrolling the same three or four dried-up apps on my phone, when I would otherwise be reading a book. Which is arguably objectively worse than reading even a pretty lowbrow novel.
As soon as I became aware of this, that the pattern was repeating and it was pulling me away from novels once again, I knew just where I had to turn: to the hero author, the woman who singlehandedly rescued me from a years-long reading slump not too long ago: the brilliant Sally Hepworth! She’s saved me once, I knew she could do it again. I needed one of her novels in my hands, stat!
As you may remember, I binged a ton of her books at the beginning of my effort to Rediscover Reading this past spring (see: this post, this post). So, as I approached the H shelf in the adult fiction section of the library, I was really worried that I’d find that I’d already read every single book of hers that my library had. Thanks be to God, there was exactly one (1) Sally Hepworth book there that I hadn’t yet gotten around to reading during my prior binge. And this was it:
Happy to report that she’s done it again! I know I say this about pretty much every single one of SH’s books, but, I really think this might be one of my favorites of hers. Something about the interactions between the two sisters made it seem especially real and poignant. Maybe because, in some ways, their family dynamic is not unlike my own, and I saw a lot of myself and my sister in Rachel and Tully.
Plus, this book managed to keep me guessing right up until the end — maybe the villain isn’t as villainous as we think? Maybe she really is projecting her fears… — but still provided enough evidence to make the truth apparent, and then gave a clear, satisfying answer at the end, completely dodging the bullet of leaving too much up to the imagination. Very smoothly done.
I also of course appreciated the compassionate portrayal of addiction in both sisters. Especially Rachel. I like that even as a fat girl she’s still described as the most gorgeous person you’ve ever seen, and is still fawned over by men. Tbf though, she’s described as voluptuous and Kardashianesque with a soft squishy tummy, which is not exactly “fat,” by American standards, and is in fact an arguably ideal body type; she’s not supposed to be “apple”-shaped or grossly obese, so, I guess in a way she’s like an idealized, romanticized picture of a fat girl, and hardly a model of fat representation at all… but still, it’s progress. I still appreciate an author showing us that thickness does not necessarily equal ugliness. I also like that weight loss was never part of Rachel’s recovery; it was strictly about her relationship with food, and how it affected her life.
Speaking of, Darcy is probably my favorite Sally Hepworth love interest so far, maybe because, with his silly sense of humor and his unconditional, unquestioning acceptance of Rachel’s food issues, plus the way he pursued her so persistently, he reminds me of my own husband.
But my favorite thing about this book! Perhaps my favorite thing, the thing that made me applaud the loudest, was the theme of wealth vs. poverty, and the way it’s shown multiple times how it’s so much easier for wealthy people to live virtuously. Tully learns this lesson the hard way, quickly realizing that being ultra-choosy about her children’s diet was a privilege reserved for those with a lot of extra time and money. Similarly, there’s a scene where Heather reflects on how rich folks are able to be kind and generous to their hired moving crew, because they can afford to: something breaks in transit? Oh well, we’ll just buy another! And then buying the crew a round of drinks when the job’s done. A generous gesture that no poor family could afford. Heather gets to see it from both sides. I wish more wealthy folks were so conscious of their privilege and less judgmental of those who can’t afford to live such outwardly-beautiful lives.
On that same note though, I am somewhat disappointed by the implication that poverty necessarily = dysfunction, crime, abuse, addiction, and misery. I know the two often go hand in hand, sadly, but it’s not necessary, and part of our society’s hatred of poverty comes from this idea that poor always = evil and suffering. Stories like this really perpetuate the idea that a family can’t be happy, healthy, loving, functional, and also poor. I’d like to see more portrayals of happy and peaceful lower-income families. To be fair again, though, SH definitely also showed that a family can also be rich and dysfunctional, miserable, and evil. And actually, come to think of it, maybe this is exactly what SH was doing at the end, with Tully and Sonny’s new happier, simplified life in a smaller house.
Speaking of Sonny, one last complaint. Why was he so two-dimensional? He was the least fleshed-out of all the major characters. I feel like Tully’s husband deserved to be more complete of a character. I get that he wasn’t massively important or anything, but, whenever SH mentioned Sonny, it was like a generic black-and-white stick figure entered the scene in my head, among all these other vivid, human characters. Oh well.
I always like to find some nitpicky little issues to hop on my soapbox about, but this was overall, as always, a 10/10 reading experience from Sally Hepworth. I can’t wait to get my hands on her next book.