CAUTION: SPOILERS for this episode of HBC!

“Oh God, Food Network, please don’t cancel me.” – Nico, talking to himself while working on his little decorative yarmulke-wearing piggy

Half an episode?! Come on, Food Network, what was this about? I was looking forward to this all week, all day – this was quite literally getting me through a really exhausting Tuesday – and then you only give me one challenge?! Not happy about this at all.

I think I get why they did it, though. Episode three is a tricky point, production-wise, because they don’t want to do another long ninety-minute episode like they do for the first two – is this a budget thing? I don’t know – but in any case, they cut the time in half, at the third episode. But they still have ten bakers to get through. So, zooming through twenty desserts in forty minutes is kind of a whirlwind. I get that. However, I still would rather have seen twenty desserts.

I guess the good thing, though, about slowing down a bit and having more time to devote to each contestant’s process, allowed the show to work on fleshing out the characters a bit.

“I’m born to be here,” Jean Carlos proclaimed. As a mom, it warmed my little heart to hear him talking about how he’s here for his mom, with whom he endured some less-than-ideal living situations as a child, and now he wants to give her a nice place to live. He had a good week! Those brigadeiros were his shining moment.

On that note, I was saddened to hear Ashleigh’s lore about her family background; no wonder she’s so tough, competitive, fierce, and bossy; it sounds like that was probably a survival mechanism. I have a new admiration for her. “I need everyone to stop going in that blast chiller,” she barked at her teammates, as she started to get frazzled over those disintegrating cakes – like, damn! “Ashleigh is really tweaking right now in this moment,” Nico observed – but, being a good team player, he was gracious about it, and predicted that she was going to be the one to save their whole team. And he was right.

Ashleigh is one of the best for sure, as is Alyx apparently. I kind of love how it came down to Ashleigh vs. Alyx – there’s something delightfully comic book about the dichotomy. Both teams are spearheaded by a queen bee: on the Naughty Team, this tough, gorgeous, unsmiling blonde with all the cute holiday accessories who’s not here to make friends or mess around (looks sweet, is mean); and on the Nice Team, the witchy goth baddie with a fun sense of humor and the slow easy warmth of a seasoned Southern cook (looks mean, is sweet). I’m 100% sure that both of these two will make it to the final, along with probably Charles, who remains my favorite.

Speaking of, did you see Charles come to help Ashleigh, when she was having her little crisis near the end?! My jaw just about hit the floor! Their team really made the “team” thing happen, this episode. And it sure paid off, since Ashleigh’s tropical entremet wreath ended up being the best dessert of the show and saving her team from risk of elimination. Which left Alyx, queen of the Nice Team, feeling guilty for perhaps being too nice: it was she who, when offered the choice between a “nice” advantage and a “naughty” advantage for her team this episode (either a whole set of nifty extra tools for her team to use, or the opportunity to take stand mixers away from the naughty team), went with the “nice” option. Now she’s feeling like perhaps she should have been meaner. I think she feels semi-responsible for Violet’s elimination – like if she hadn’t played so nice, Violet might still be here! The drama! I wonder if this will affect her attitude going forward. She’s so cool though. Her Black Forest mille-feuille wreath did sound incredible!

Also of note this episode: Nico’s naughty Star of David bacon wreath! Possibly – no, definitely – the most hilarious bake ever. The nerve! The irreverence! And Duff’s reaction, as someone also raised Jewish – priceless. Duff is actually Christian now, which is awesome. Something tells me Nico’s not exactly practicing his Judaism anymore, either. I thought this was brilliant, and wished he’d gotten better feedback on the actual flavors – apparently it was actually too much bacon and didn’t combine well with the maple. Poor Nico!

Erin: this episode was a whole saga, for her! Being the Mom, she of course offered to pause her bake to go get coffees for everyone – which, can we talk about how spoiled this set of contestants is for having a coffee shop on set, lol? But, while Erin was out, her sheet pan warped in the oven. Which, can we also talk about sheet pans warping in the oven?! This moment pained me, because it was so real! But it was also kind of refreshing in its realness! This happens to me all the time at home – you’ve just put your sheet pan in the oven, and it’s been a couple minutes and then you suddenly hear an unnerving metallic pop and you look over and your sheet pan’s all twisted up, its opposite corners popping up off the rack. I hate that. I think this was the first time I’d seen it present an issue on this show. So anyway, Erin had to remake her snickerdoodle cookie cake, and was quite flustered about it – but then! Not only did she manage to make it work, she ended up getting rave reviews, for both decoration (that unconventional color scheme was really something) and flavor (that was a clever combination: snickerdoodle with apple-whiskey compote. If I were still into alcohol, I’d probably love it). Way to go, Erin.

Chase: Like I was saying, this episode seemed to be very much about fleshing out the characters. I think Chase told us three or four times tonight that he’s a perfectionist: that he comes off as chill, but he actually takes great pride in being a perfectionist about his own work. They really built him up in the first part of the episode – even Kardea came out and said that Chase is one of the best, setting the bar so high, etc. – all of which made his lackluster results even more devastating! I thought sugar plum cream puffs sounded so clever, so festive, so original! I think he could have pulled it off as a wreath if it had been, like he said, a little neater. I hope to see him back on his A game next episode.

Charles: my favorite did not have a great week! His bundt cake looked amazing, with that adorable little naughty cat pulling down the lights – but, the flavors sounded downright weird! Am I right? Banana with lime caramel? I was not surprised to hear the judges say that the taste was off. I wonder if he’d gone with something other than lime if it would have been better-received. Poor Charles!

Violet: she was lovely, and a seriously impressive baker, but tbh I’m never that sad when they send home a literal infant on these shows. You’re like 10 years old and already doing better than 99% of all grown-ups, you have your whole life in front of you, lol. So even though I was a fan of hers, I’m not super crushed by her elimination.

However, I do think it sucked that the judges came down so hard on her about her wreath cake! “Messy”?! I did not read that as messy at all! I actually thought it looked very neat! The royal icing was impeccable. Yes, the decoration had a lot of elements, but they were organized, coordinated, and super festive! I’m so confused. I guess it’s true that it didn’t really look like a literal green wreath, but, honestly so what. I’m also confused why they sent Violet home instead of anyone else. Camrey, Jean Carlos, Nico, Charles, and Chase all got feedback that was just about as mediocre as Violet’s if not worse, so why her? This call didn’t really make sense to me. Poor little Violet! Ah well, like I was saying, she’s a prodigy, she’ll be fine.

Superlatives from the judges: 1 (“this is the best thing you’ve made on this show!” – Duff to Alyx) (running total: 2)

Judge says “remember, you’re on Holiday Baking Championship”: 0 (running total: 1)

Nancy says “bite of food”: 0 (running total: ½)

High point: Naughty team group hug??! Never thought I’d see the day!

Low point: My poor favorite Charles! “Not your best work,” Duff said, and it looked like Charles was about to either attack someone or break down sobbing or just short-circuit like a broken machine, or maybe all three. Clearly he’s not used to getting negative feedback. As someone who is also pathetically sensitive to criticism, I did not enjoy watching this moment; it felt like we were witnessing something way too personal and private to be on TV, and not in a good way.

The dessert that I would most have liked to eat: Easily, Tarek’s chocolate cupcakes with pretzel crust, peanut butter mousse, feuilletine crunch, and honeycomb. Tell me yours in the comments!!