CAUTION: SPOILERS for the show Vice Principals.

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Friendship and its portrayal in popular media: as you may remember, I’ve addressed this topic before, in my post about the movie The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent — but in light of a recent discovery, I feel a need to bring it up again.

The discovery in question is that of the comedy show Vice Principals on HBO Max. I know, I know — this show came out ten years ago (2016 really was a good year, wasn’t it?) — but, as usual, I’m late to the party. My husband and I had had this one on our “maybe we’ll try this if we run out of other shows” list for like three years. And finally, with all our other options completely dried up, we recently gave it a try.

To my surprise, this ended up being one of the best shows I’ve seen in a long time. Incredible work; I was expecting just a quirky, goofy comedy, but it was actually a really beautiful and tragic character study, and imo an A+ example of “how to make a good TV show.”

TV writers and producers, take note: they kept Vice Principals to a tight two seasons, which is something more shows really, really ought to do. They had a story to tell and they told it and got it done. Few things annoy me more than storytellers who just drag a dead story along like a rotting corpse that they refuse to bury, for the sake of a dollar. (See: From, which had an absolutely incredible first season, but now in season four is floundering out of control and cringe AF; unfortunately, season one was so good that I have to see the damned thing through to the end, now, which should have come a season or two ago, but I digress.)

I could have done without the show’s raunchy humor and the repeated violations of the Second Commandment, which always make me wince — but, that’s HBO for you, I guess (“you’re watching too much of the HBO!”); that’s to be expected, unfortunately. But Vice Principals was actually funniest when it wasn’t being gross.

I can forgive the vulgarity, though, because of how brilliant the show was otherwise. What made it so great, you ask? The same thing that made Unbearable Weight so great: the love story.

It’s always so cool to me to find a good love story, but especially cool to find one that’s specifically about friendship.

Modern media is so oversaturated with romance — and don’t get me wrong, I love romance as much as the next girl! But the older and more jaded I get, the more I find myself more enthralled by this mystical, magical phenomenon of platonic love, of friendship.

What a fascinating thing friendship is. Like I was saying in that other post, as someone with AVPD, friendship has always been kind of mystifying to me. Romantic relationships — those make more sense. There’s an expectation. A transaction. A goal, even. In my teens and twenties, I had plenty of romantic relationships… but almost no friendships. Those, I couldn’t comprehend.

Because what is friendship even for? There’s no goal. You’re not trying to attain some special status with or ownership of the person. You’re not going to get married and have kids. So, what does a friend actually want from you? Whenever my husband tells me that he’s going to see a friend, or that a friend has requested our company, my knee-jerk response is: “why? What for?”

Because what is the point? You mean to tell me they just… enjoy your presence? They just like being around you, even if you’re not doing anything in particular? Even if you’re not getting something useful out of it? Just togetherness, that’s the whole goal?

Mind-boggling. Absolutely wild.

My favorite kind of love stories anymore are these: the kind that’s completely non-sexual, but with all the power and devotion and intensity of a fairytale romance. Platonic soulmates. I freaking love seeing people who love their friends.

And friendships, it would seem, can have a lot of the same hallmarks as romantic relationships — a lot of the same dynamics, minus the lust. Personally, I’m a sucker for both the “enemies to lovers” and the “extrovert+introvert” trope — and, as my readers know, I always swoon over a good tragic ending in which for whatever reason the couple just can’t be together. 😍 The love story in Vice Principals offers all of these, in a beautifully lust-free context.

I discussed in the other post how it’s especially cool to see a lust-free love story about two straight men. Male friendships are particularly fascinating to me. Why? Maybe because men are more naturally inclined to lust¹, so a lust-free love is more unexpected, in them — or maybe because I myself am female so it’s just more foreign. In any case, there needs to be more media portrayal of lust-free love stories between two straight males.²

The best episode, and the one that encapsulates the love story most tidily and beautifully, is season one episode five, “Circles.” The part where Neal shows up and punches out the nasty neighbor with the confiscated brass knuckles — and then lets Lee take credit for it when his wife shows up — and this was before they were even officially friends!, this was the unspoken turning point in their relationship. Just🤌

(I must also point out one thing the show did really well, unrelated to the love story: Amanda’s arc as an aspiring novelist. The crazed, desperate “I just want to know if it’s any good” — and Neal being the only one to “get” her work, and how that makes her love him more — and Neal’s ex telling her at that party, “you should write Nicholas Sparks novels!” and the way you can see her groan inwardly — ugh, all so painfully relatable, for any wannabe writer like myself! Amanda was a great character, and I was glad that they made her more than just a hot blonde.)

So: take all the best tropes from erotic love stories, but put them in the context of a purely platonic one. Kinda funny to mention purity when we’re talking about such a lewd show, but pure is exactly what their friendship is, and the vulgarity of the surrounding story actually serves to highlight the purity and innocence of their love.³ Add in the two main characters’ (and actors’!) incredible chemistry, the superb pacing of the story, and the unhinged, slightly-surreal comedy, which surrealism sometimes, like here, allows a story to be more real — it all adds up to Vice Principals being, in my correct opinion, the greatest love story on TV.

Do you know any other great movies/ shows/ books/ songs that celebrate platonic friendship, whether male or female? Give me your recommendations!

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Footnotes

1. It’s true, don’t @ me. I’m not here to complain about men, though, nor am I saying that women are any better. Women are just as pathetically desperate to be desirable and pleasing and cared-for as males are to penetrate. I do think it’s arguable though that, of these two selfish tendencies, lust is the more selfish, and the more icky. However, lust is also less all-pervading, psychologically — more compartmentalizable. What I mean by that is, I think women’s desire to be desirable/ preferred over others can infect everything for them, even their female friendships, leading to cattiness, bitchiness, competition, and two-facedness.ª Whereas male friendships, untainted by lust, are free to be pure, sweet, simple, and wholesome — all traits that our culture doesn’t typically associate with masculinity, but which are, in fact, peak masculinity. Maybe that’s why I find it so attractive when men have devoted friendships with other men. Like yes sir, I see that you are capable of a totally unselfish love and that your masculinity is so strong as to be unthreatened by expressions of fondness and affection for another man 👀 — ok, I see you. To employ a meme, imo “the sluttiest thing a man can do is be a good platonic friend to his bros” — which is, perhaps, kind of ironic, or something.

a. Or maybe this is all just me exposing my own sad paranoia and inability to trust anyone. “Women are catty and men are just disgusting dogs! Just avoid everyone, and you’ll be perfectly happy and safe! A flawless strategy — what could go wrong?!”

2. I only know a few. Two of my favorite “bros before hoes” anthems are this one and, of course, this one (NSFW).

3. “But Mith,” you may be arguing, “their love was anything but pure and innocent! It was toxic AF, and that’s why they had to break up and could never be together” — that’s a good point, but I would argue that the reason their dynamic was so toxic was because Lee is very mentally ill; he has deep psychological issues, as well as a bigger, more dominating personality than Neal, who is basically good but weaker and more of a follower. These weaknesses combined lead to them enabling each others’ worst behavior — but despite all that, underneath it all, they do genuinely love each other. They are each other’s closest and deepest and most profound relationship, and they’d each die for the other in a heartbeat, even now. 10/10.