That’s right, this shall be two TOP 10 lists in a single post! Hot diggity dog! Buckle up, readers.

I have four kids six and under, and we’re a pretty bookish family, so it follows that I read a lot of children’s books these days. Tbh I read more children’s books than adult books, anymore, and thus I’ve formed a lot of opinions about children’s books, over the past six years.

Some, I love dearly — it’s been a delight to rediscover some favorites from my own childhood with my kids, and to discover some new gems as well! It goes without saying that works such as Frog and Toad, the Magic School Bus series, anything by Beatrix Potter, and Mary Cicely Barker’s Flower Fairies are timeless classics. If I were to list every kid book that I love, this post would be way too long.

Others, though… others give me the ick. Some, for identifiable reasons, but others, just because something about the illustrations or the writing rubs me the wrong way. Nothing against the creators of these books; my hat is off to just about any writer/illustrator of children’s books! (I say “just about” because some of these are, imo, less respectable works than others.) Some of these just make me recoil and/or elicit a gross feeling inside, an aversion like that between twin magnetic poles, and I have to really grit my teeth and force my way through it when my kids ask me to read them these particular books.

I’m a “bad news first” type of person, so let’s begin with the icky. If you’re reading this and you happen to be the author or illustrator of one of these books: I’m sorry, I have nothing against you personally, and indeed have great respect for you for being a traditionally-published writer/artist at all — we all know how hard that is to achieve, especially in this day and age! My criticism is simply a matter of personal taste — and know that you wouldn’t have made it to this list at all if my kids didn’t adore your work and beg me to read it to them. Which was, after all, your goal, wasn’t it?

TOP 10: Children’s Books that Give Mith the Ick

14. Anything by Richard Scarry. I know, I know — this is a controversial opinion. His artwork is adorable and charming and all, I understand that. And so wholesome. There’s not a thing wrong with it. On paper, it ticks all my boxes — it seems like the kind of thing I would approve of. But something about his drawings gives me a chilly, queasy, unsettled feeling. Is it just me?

13. The Madeline books. Yup, call me crazy but I don’t like these either! The first one is a good little story with good rhyming — indeed, good enough to outweigh the icky artwork — but the sequels are dumb and contrived, the rhymes weak and cringey. And yeah, the art is majorly gross for me. I hate it the same way I hate 1930s-40s movies and music; Madeline looks the way croony 1940s music sounds on crackly vinyl. I realize it’s a masterpiece and all but it just doesn’t vibe with me!

12. Most things by Dr. Seuss. Another hot take! I say “most things” because there are a few stories of his that I love so much that it overrides my aversion to his art: namely, Daisy-Head Mayzie, The Sneetches, and of course The Lorax — but, for the most part, his illustration style just feels cold and creepy to me. Sterile, soulless, spooky. I hate his made-up animals, they make me nauseated. Dr. Seuss apparently moonlighted (moonlit?) as a painter of creepy, surreal works for adults, and if you look up his adult work, you can really see that this is where he pulls out all the stops and just lets his creepiness flow unrestrained. Horrifying stuff. There are few places I’d want to visit less than Dr. Seuss’s brain.

11. Ten Tiny Tickles by Karen Katz. Nothing against Ms. Katz, her work is cute and there’s nothing wrong with it, and I like her other books; I simply hate this little board book. Obnoxious AF. I can honestly not even stand to read it out loud. My kids loved it so much that I had to bury our copy deep in the basement.

10. The Froggy series by Jonathan London, illustrated by Frank Remkiewicz. Again, no offense to the author or illustrator! Objectively great children’s books, and highly successful. Just annoying to me. It’s all the “zip,” “zup,” “zing” sound effects and all the “Froooogggyyyyy!!” “Wha-aaa-aat?” dialogue — but it’s also the mouths. Ugh, the mouths. The characters’ mouths remind me of puppets, which you already know from this post give me the major ick.

9. The Olivia books by Ian Falconer. These books are actually kinda cute; I’m not sure why they irritate me so much, but they do.

8. The Llama Llama books by Anna Dewdney. These rhymes are actually really solid. So what is it about Llama Llama that pisses me off? I think a large factor is the name. Why is he, as a llama, named “Llama Llama.” I get so sick of hearing that repeated a million times per book.

7. Anything by Sandra Boynton. No offense, Ms. Boynton! You’re so hugely popular that I’m sure one stupid little WordPress blogger’s silly little unsolicited opinion is just laughably meaningless to you, anyway. But man, those goofy dopey animals and their little songs are so irritating to me.

6. Anything by Mo Willems. I’m actually conflicted on this one, because my firstborn when she was a year old was gifted a copy of Don’t Let The Pigeon Drive The Bus, and she was obsessed with it — we read it so many times that she memorized it, it was one of the first books she ever memorized, and I have videos of her sitting in the glider chair in her nursery “reading” it to herself — the sweetest thing! However, I also find Mo Willems’s ultra-modern style of drawing and storytelling to be highly obnoxious, and even kind of depressing. There’s no beauty in these books, nothing uplifting or enchanting or good. It’s just brainrot for kids.

5. Anything by Aaron Blabey. Again, I’m emotionally conflicted here because my secondborn absolutely loves Thelma the Unicorn. Every time we go to the library, she wants to check out Thelma, and never gets bored of it; I should really just cave and buy a copy, but I hate to, because I friggen hate these books. They’re so vapid! Even the illustrations are like deliberately stupid. The original Thelma isn’t bad, although the rhymes are pretty lazy imo, but the second one is really weak and lame. But, hey, my four-year-old is the target audience, not me, and for her it’s a huge hit, so what does my opinion matter anyway.

4. The Little Critter books by Mercer Mayer. I hate that critter. I hate his face. All the other books on this list, I’ve begrudgingly allowed into my home at some point… but never these. Never these. The sight of that critter’s horrible face has always turned my stomach.

3. The Amelia Bedelia books by Peggy/Herman Parish. I liked these when I was a little kid, but now, as a mom, they drive me insane! I hate reading them out loud — why must they repeat her stupid name over and over like it’s some kind of joke?! I once counted how many times I had to say her name in a single book and it was like 80something. And as an adult, watching her destroy people’s homes and belongings, while acting all cutesy and helpless about it, is so triggering. And why is she always smiling as she does it?! If this woman ever came anywhere near my house I’d chase her off with a hose.

2. The KittyCorn books by Shannon Hale, illustrated by LeUyen Pham. With all due respect to the author and illustrator, who after all have published multiple books while I have published zero: these books feel like an insult to my daughter’s intelligence. And damaging to it. KittyCorn is to little girls what pornography is to adults. The stories are highly simplistic, the artwork is silly and goofy, not beautiful — but it’s about a “KittyCorn,” so little girls are hypnotized, spellbound, and just absorb it. This is the high fructose corn syrup of kid lit. (Same way I feel about the junky chapter book series Mermicorn Island by Jason June. An insult! (My oldest is starting to read chapter books, so there are a few of those that I considered for this post, both bad and good; however, I decided to keep it to picture books. Maybe another day I’ll discuss chapter books & MG fiction.))

and to top it off:

1. The Pete the Cat series by Eric Litwin, James Dean, and Kimberly Dean. These books piss me off. I know the art is supposed to be “highly stylized” and “bold” and “modern” or whatever, but to me it is just upsettingly ugly; the plots and dialogue are senselessly stupid, like a painfully-mentally-handicapped person wrote them, and I cannot STAND the way the cat calls everything “groovy,” it smacks of the 1960s-70s which is a time period I generally loathe, an era defined by ugliness and degeneracy. I used to let my kids check out the Pete books anyway, because they liked them and all, but the last straw for me was in the Easter book when Pete the Cat tells the reader: “helping others is what Easter is all about!” — excuse me, sir? What did you just say?! Ugh! Worldly propaganda at its finest!

Now, moving on to the good! I really had to aggressively winnow this list to keep it relatively concise:

TOP 10: Mith-Approved Children’s Books

14. Little Blue Truck by Alice Schertle, illustrated by Jill McElmurry. I haven’t read all the sequels, but the original is a class act: smart rhymes, tight storytelling, genuinely funny, inviting pictures, and a good moral message. Plus, my three-year-old always shrieks with laughter at the line “Goat jumped over the fence, of course” — every time, without fail, which makes it even more delightful to read aloud to the kids. This series absolutely deserves its success.

13. Anansi and the Moss-Covered Rock by Eric Kimmel, illustrated by Janet Stevens. If you haven’t read this one, you should, even if you don’t have a kid to read it to. It’s adapted from an African folktale, and it’s clever and funny as heck. Plus the artwork is so lush and expressive, you can really get absorbed in each page; and the story is so well-told. It’s everything that a children’s book should be.

12. The Max and Ruby books by Rosemary Wells. Another series that 100% deserves its raging success! Everything about these books is sweet and sincere and lovely. Some of my personal favs: Max’s Bath (which made me laugh as a kid and still makes me laugh today) and Max’s Birthday, both of which are board books, and, in longer picture books: Bunny Cakes and Bunny Money. The TV adaptation I don’t really care for, but screen adaptations are never as good, are they.

11. Eloise by Kay Thompson, illustrated by Hilary Knight. How badly I wanted to be Eloise, when I was a kid! And tbh still kinda want to! What a dream life. This book is a brilliant work of art. Eloise’s world is so vivid, so real you can actually smell and hear it.

10. Outside Over There by Maurice Sendak. Everyone raves about Where the Wild Things Are, but I actually love this one way more. Maurice Sendak’s stuff is creepy in a good way, and this book exemplifies that. It’s eerie and chilling, but at the same time it’s wholesome, innocent fun for little kids — just as a fairytale should be. The illustrations are phenomenal, each page a work of art, and, as always, Sendak’s narration is beautiful poetry, just as engaging for adults as it is for kids.

9. Certain titles from Robert Munsch. I say “certain titles” because Munsch is very prolific and, tbh, I haven’t read anywhere near all of his books! But, The Paper Bag Princess and Mortimer are both 10/10 classics. And, of course, Love You Forever — although I actually hate reading that one, because it makes me too emotional. I think it might be the single most tear-jerky book ever written, at least if you’re a parent.

8. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs by Judi Barrett, illustrated by Ron Barrett. No commentary needed! Iconic! We all know this one’s genius. It’s a perfect book. As you can imagine, I was furious when I found out they were making a movie adaptation… but to my pleasant surprise, I found that the movie (the first one, not the second) was actually really good too. It’s a completely different story from the book, just loosely inspired by the book really, which is partly why it was such a good adaptation. Book is still better, obviously.

7. The Golden Egg by A.J. Wood, illustrated by Maggie Kneen. If I could live inside one children’s book, it’d be this one. The pictures are just so lovely. Rhymes are just okay, imo, but the artwork more than makes up for it. I read this one to my kids over and over.

6,. Anything by Tomie dePaola. Catholic moms love Tomie dePaola, and I’m no exception! I especially love his book about Mary, the Mother of Jesus, but they’re all gems. Except The Clown of God. That one is way too sad, incredibly sad, and as I said above, I don’t like being made to feel sad.

5. Gregory, the Terrible Eater by Mitchell Sharmat, illustrated by Jose Aruego and Ariane Dewey. As a child, I loved this story because it’s funny and unexpected. As a parent, I love it for several reasons; one being how hilariously relatable it is, if your kids, like mine, are picky eaters; but also because it’s actually really profound. The lesson of this book can apply to so many things in life, and I find myself thinking about it often, in all kinds of contexts. (Now, if you’re normal, you might not find this book so profound… but if, like me, you struggle to comprehend this concept of “moderation,” I highly recommend this as like a textbook.)

4. The Sheep and the Rowan Tree by Julia Butcher. A neat little “bloom where you are planted” story with stunning artwork — honestly, every page could be framed and hung on the wall. I love how it’s just slightly weird and bizarre, too — not your typical “bloom where you are planted” story. They don’t make ’em like this anymore.

3. The Giant Jam Sandwich by Janet Burroway and John Vernon Lord. Janet Burroway is actually a serious poet, not just a children’s book author, and it shows. This is a delectable, masterful little poem that also happens to be a hilarious and weird little children’s book. Not a single word of filler. Contemporary illustrators take note: this is how to offer beauty and levity at the same time! High quality and humor! You don’t have to choose. Readers, get you a book that can do both. I can read this one over and over, not even for the kids, just for myself!

2. Anything by Jan Brett. Jan Brett is the GOAT of children’s book authors. I’m so grateful that she decided to use her artistic gifts to create children’s books, because her books are such a blessing to any household with children. I grew up with her Twelve Days of Christmas, and it’s my favorite Christmas book for kids to this day (and has defined how I hear that song); we also love Hedgie’s Surprise, Fritz and the Beautiful Horses, and The Gingerbread Baby. Seriously, even if you don’t have kids, you should go look at her books just for the artwork. Look at the landscapes in Gingerbread Baby. A veritable feast for the eyes. She’s really out here doing the most. The opposite of Dr. Seuss: I feel like Jan Brett’s brain must be a lovely place to hang out.

and finally, Mith’s favorite children’s book of all time:

1. The Country Bunny and the Little Gold Shoes by DuBose Heyward, illustrated by Marjorie Flack. It’s the perfect children’s book. No notes. When I was a kid, I checked this one out from the library as a “book on tape,” which if you’re a crusty old millennial like me, you may remember was the predecessor to today’s audiobooks: the paperback and the cassette tape were loaned out together in a plastic bag that was sealed with a plastic clip that was also a hanger. Anyway, this book made such an impression on me back then, just the classicism and charm and beauty of it, and I still love it just as much. It’s timeless, it’s beautiful, it’s edifying, it’s intelligent, the prose is lovely — just a joy in every way.

What about you guys? Can you think of any great or icky children’s books that I missed? Let me know ⬇️⬇️