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Caution: Spoilers
“When I come back next week, it’s gonna be full-on honey badger fight. Jasmine’s not having that star baker.” – Aaron, at the end of the episode
“Oh, I can see it squidging.” – Tom, of his freestanding trifle, at the end of the showstopper
Did anyone else find this episode disappointing all around?
For one: I was so excited when I saw that it was Dessert Week, but all of the desserts in this episode were kind of blah. All those cheesecakes, and not a single flavor combination that sounded yummy. And then, gluten-free steamed puddings? And then a bunch of booze-soaked trifles? Womp womp. For two: poor dear little Iain going home. He’ll be fine, I mean he’s like 20 years old, so just a baby, and he’s got a beautiful pole-dancing fiancee and all, so, he has his whole life in front of him. But, I’ll sorely miss seeing him and his Irish elfin antics on this show.
And, for three: Jasmine getting star baker again. It’s just getting boring, at this point! Her bakes are perfect and traditional and classic every time. Everyone else is a little more interesting to watch – Aaron with his avant garde flavors, Tom with his ambitious designs, Iain with his fine arts skills, and Toby’s quirky and fun style – but Jasmine’s just textbook perfection, challenge after challenge. Which I guess is what they’re looking for, on this show, really, and I respect that. But, still. It is kind of cool that Jasmine is the last woman standing this year.
It was wild how this week the placements did a perfect one-eighty from the signature to the technical. In the signature, we had Aaron and Jasmine in the lead, Toby in the middle, and Tom and Iain at the bottom. Then in the technical, we had Tom and Iain in first place, Toby in the middle, and Jasmine and Aaron in the bottom! Which makes things extra tense, going into the showstopper, because you know so much is hanging on that last challenge.
Another perfectly symmetrical thing that I noticed, that I don’t think I’d ever seen in this show before: in the technical, the order in which the judges tasted the puddings was the exact order in which the contestants placed, from worst to best: Aaron, Jasmine, Toby, Iain, Tom. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure they were even seated in that order, each in front of their own bake. What a weird little coincidence!
Of note this week: Toby said during the signature that he thinks he will be “one week and one week only” as a Star Baker. I’m curious to see if that will come true. Will Toby win star baker next week, or possibly even the final? I’m sure the winner will be Jasmine, but, I can still get my hopes up. I like Toby a lot, and I love that he’s a fan of Christmas like I am. But I do wonder: how, as a British baker, had he never once made a steamed pudding before?, lol.
I’m also allowing myself to get my hopes up for my favorite, Aaron! He’s been my favorite since Pui Man went home in week three, and he’s still here! He really has a shot! He didn’t do well in the technical this week, but his saké plum cheesecake got perfect reviews, and his champagne-raspberry-chamomile-peach trifle apparently tasted amazing even though the textures were off. He might just win it.
And even if he doesn’t, we’re at the point now – the final four/five – at which all of the contestants are successful. They will go down in Bake-Off history as some of the best. If you make it to the quarterfinal, you’re pretty much Bake-Off nobility, if not royalty. Any one of these contestants could go on to like get a cookbook published or get their own TV show or land a great job somewhere at the drop of a hat, if they wanted to.
One other mildly interesting thing that I learned about this week: “Flipping Nora,” apparently a milder version of the colloquialism “Bloody Nora,” is, according to Google, a phrase “used to express surprise, irritation, or dismay.” Never heard that before in my life. And we heard it from Jasmine, of all people, lol!
That’s about all I’ve got for this week. It was not my favorite episode. Only two episodes left. What do we think will happen? Leave me your comments!
“Claggy” count: 0 (running total: 5)
“Concertina” count: 0 (running total: 1)
High point: Tom’s first technical win! He was saying after the signature that he really wanted to do well in the technical, and then he not only did well, but finally won. He’s been wanting to win one for weeks.
Low point: The lack of a single chocolate dessert in the entire “Dessert Week” episode. Toby did use white chocolate in his marbled cheesecake, but that just barely counts.
The dessert that I would most have liked to eat: Really, none of them. I was so disappointed that all of the trifles were soaked in booze! I don’t do alcohol, so these were all off-limits for me, which was devastating, because Tom’s Greek trifle sounded amazing: fig, almond, and honey – I was so excited about that one! But, in any case, he fell victim to almond extract, which, I literally do not know why any baking show contestant ever dares to touch almond extract for any reason, anymore, and the judges said it didn’t taste that great. Bummer all around. I guess if I had to pick one from this episode I’d go with Tom’s gothic-looking black sesame basque cheesecake, just for the vibes.
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Contains Spoilers for this episode, as well as Series 5 (2014)!
“This is so fun, Toby. You’re gonna really enjoy this!” – Iain, the first one to start in the staggered-start-time technical challenge, as Toby, the second, walked in
I think it goes without saying that Iain was the undisputed hero of the show’s first ever Meringue Week. Both his signature and showstopper made references to the history of the show itself: a little treat for us longtime fans. He’s clearly a huge nerd for this show, and I love it. The “lucky” rhubarb paid off, and then he went and won the technical (despite adding a truly aggressive excess of sugar to his soufflés), and then, in what was possibly the funniest thing to happen on this show since Bingate itself – Bingate: Redemption.
Was anyone else cry-laughing as Iain explained his trash-can-shaped showstopper?! As soon as I heard them explain today’s challenge – Vacherin Glacé, i.e. ice creams encased in meringue, sound familiar? – my mind went to baked Alaska, which of course made me think of Bingate, and wonder if another such fiasco would ensue. But, I’d completely forgotten that the guy who chucked his Baked Alaska in the trash back in 2014 was also named Iain and also from Belfast! (I just remembered him as an angry bearded white guy.) So this was just a hilarious coincidence, which this year’s Iain capitalized on brilliantly. I only wish that the judges had loved it more, so that the redemption would have been even more satisfying. Conveniently, though, 2025 Iain could “pass the buck” and blame the questionable flavor combo (coffee and dark chocolate) on 2014 Iain, which was again hilarious. I’m just dying to hear 2014 Iain’s response to this episode.
Iain may have been the hero this week, but Toby was the star baker – and well-deserved! Wasn’t it nice to see him win one? At first my husband and I were worried for him, because Paul seemed unenthused when Toby was explaining his plans for his signature – but then he ended up with the best signature of them all! He really did something original with the little meringue lattices on those apple tarts. I’m not that big on tropical flavors myself, so I wasn’t that interested in his mango-coconut showstopper, but the judges both loved it, and it was completely lactose-free which is pretty cool, and the meringue didn’t crack, which is quite a feat in itself; frankly, I was just glad to see him win instead of Jasmine, for once. His call home at the end was the best of the season so far, too.
I kind of got my hopes up that my favorite, Aaron, might win again. His signature was incredible, he was second in technical (one place ahead of Toby), and his showstopper was incredibly beautiful. “Ethereal,” as Paul described it. The monochromatic look was so bold, so elegant! But, I guess the judges weren’t so into the flavor combination – lemongrass, key lime, and stem ginger. It sounded refreshing, but, I guess they didn’t find it as delicious as Toby’s. Also, Aaron was the only one to merengue with Alison, which deserves a win imo.
How about Tom? Just like last week, he had me nervous, after not doing great in the signature and coming in next-to-last in technical – but then he saved himself with an amazing showstopper. Meanwhile, Jasmine was almost perfect once again, producing A+ signature and showstopper (Paul is apparently tired of giving her handshakes, lol) – but then! her soufflé in the technical was liquidy! Mark it on your calendars: this day was the day that Jasmine did a single thing wrong on Bake-Off.
Poor Lesley. From the start, I had a bad feeling that she was going to go home, when her lemon-raspberry tarts were “gloopy;” then she came in last in technical, after having to re-bake her tuiles. To her credit, though, considering how she had to churn out a second batch of meringues after botching the recipe the first time in the showstopper, she still managed to produce something very beautiful and delicious! Paul actually couldn’t stop eating her lemon-basil-strawberry “wedding cake” Vacherin. Unfortunately, the meringue was, predictably, underbaked, and because this whole episode was supposed to be about meringue, it’s fair that they dinged her for that. She was such a good sport, though. What a lovely person! As Prue pointed out, Lesley was in some ways the ideal baker: just having a good time, not trying to be cutthroat nor edgy, never getting too flustered or stressed. “Less haste, more speed,” Lesley said to herself in the signature. I’ll remember that one.
One other high point of this episode: Noel’s “fruit impressions” banter session with Jasmine. Why were his blueberry and mango so on point?! I wanted to see him do all of the fruits!
“Claggy: count: 0 (running total: 5)
“Concertina” count: 0 (running total: 1)
High point: Bingate: Redemption, obviously. This is probably the high point of the whole season so far.
Low point: Iain not getting rave reviews, tears of joy, a handshake, and Star Baker for Bingate: Redemption.
The dessert that I would most have liked to eat: Easy: Aaron’s blackcurrant-chestnut tarts in the signature. If you know me, you know I have a thing for blackcurrant. Combined with chestnut and yuzu, this sounded so different, and so fabulous. Usually Aaron’s flavors are a bit too adventurous for me, but I was so here for this one.
My official prediction for the order of eliminations from here on out: sad to say it but probably Toby, then Iain, then in the final: Aaron, Tom, and of course the winner will be Jasmine.
What are your thoughts? Leave comments!
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Contains Spoilers for this episode, as well as for Series 8 (2017) and series 12 (2021)!
Is it just me, or was this week massively disappointing? So much freaking sausage! I can deal with the occasional savory challenge here and there, but two in a single episode? Gross! I come to this show to ogle sweets, not for lard and pork and hard-boiled eggs. I feel like either the signature or the technical should have been a sweet pastry. I’d never even heard of a Gala Pie, but it did seem like an incredibly dated dish. Noel kept making jokes about how retro these dishes are, referring to little postwar 1950s kids in shorts eating lard sandwiches (“please, guvnor!”). Give a Gala Pie to any Gen Z, he said, and watch them start to weep and wail about “trauma.” Lol. I mean, to be fair, this show is supposed to be about classic British baking, which includes a whole lot of meat pies. It just turned my poor vegetarian stomach, watching all that leaky ground meat.
Which was why I was rooting for dear little Iain in the signature, out there representing for us herbivores! His tofu-broccoli “claddagh ring” pie looked and sounded really good. I just wish Paul had liked it more; apparently it was flavorless. (C’mon, you can’t serve flavorless tofu on TV! Don’t perpetuate the false stereotype!) It would have been nice if Paul’d been proven wrong about tofu twice in a row. Apparently the last time a contestant wowed him with tofu it was some actor from the show “Friends,” who I guess appeared on Celebrity Bake-Off at some point; I didn’t watch that one.
On the bright side, though, Aaron pulled through! (Again with the avant garde flavors, Aaron! Jasmine, ginger, and peach gel?! He’s so imaginative; I love to see it.) I was so sure he would be going home; even though his signature spicy Jamaican beef curry dish got rave reviews, he was last in technical, and made the mistake of using jasmine extract in his showstopper. How do people on these shows keep on making this mistake, lol? 99% of the time, in a baking show, if someone uses any extract other than vanilla, it bites them in the butt. Whenever you see someone using this that or the other extract, just know you’re about to watch them get chewed out about it. I was prepared to lament the loss of yet another favorite.
But it ended up being Nataliia instead. Which is fair, I guess – her chicken kyiv in the signature was too liquidy, she was fifth of seven in technical, and, like Aaron, she was personally victimized by artificial flavorings in the showstopper. I’m bummed! She was such a delight. This season will be a lot less fun without her, going forward. And anyway, I still thought her showstopper looked and sounded amazing, regardless of the raspberry extract. Paired with pistachio praline, chocolate ganache, and crème diplomat: yes, please. Speaking of baking show tropes: what a shame that she went out right after playing the formidable Dead Grandparent Card!
I am curious, though, and maybe someone can enlighten me: what was up with Tom’s rivalry with Toby going into the technical? Why was Tom like “I just want to beat Toby”? Looking back over the previous episodes, Toby won the technical in weeks one and two, whereas Tom was last in the technical in episode one and sixth in two. In episodes three and four, Toby was a few places ahead of Tom. Last week, though, Tom was in spot number four and Toby in number five, so it’s not like Tom’s never beat Toby before. Do they have some sort of frenemy thing going on behind the scenes, lol? In any case, this week Tom was sixth and Toby ahead of him in fourth, so I guess the battle rages on, if there is one.
Tom did do great in the showstopper, though. “Tom’s back in the tent,” Paul proclaimed, upon tasting that beautiful “risalamande”-flavored, Connect Four (ahem, “Four in a Row”) game-shaped tart. That was super impressive, and sounded delicious – you know I love cherry-almond flavors. If only he hadn’t used kirsch, this probably would have been my favorite bake this week.
Other stand-out bakes in the showstopper (because honestly none of the signature bakes nor gala pies stood out to me, blegh): Lesley’s gorgeous honey-glazed pecan pie covered in those precious little painted bumblebees. It’s so good to see her come out of the woodwork lately and start to really shine! And of course, we can’t not mention Iaian’s “Giant’s Causeway” tart. He’s such an artist. I’ve had the privilege of visiting the actual Giant’s Causeway, so this was really fun for me personally. What a bummer that he drenched it in so much whiskey, though. Too much booze even for Prue!
And in other news, guess who won again (yawn). I’m seriously getting bored of seeing Jasmine do everything perfectly every single challenge, lol. Can she just crash and burn once? Just kidding, of course. Huge congratulations to her, she is an absolute force of nature! It’s giving Sophie Faldo. Y’all remember how Sophie also just sailed through every challenge with a poker face, and never seemed even slightly shook? I’d like to see her and Jasmine in a bake-off, honestly.
Other than Tom and Jasmine in the final, I really have no idea what could happen in the coming weeks. I was pretty sure it’d be Toby or Lesley going home today; shows how much I know! It’s nice that this show can still surprise me.
And so far this season, the judging has seemed really fair; not once yet have I exclaimed “what tha hail?!” when the judgment’s been called, like I did when they eliminated Juergen in series 12 for example (seriously, though, I still wonder what the hail that was about). I appreciate that they’re looking at each contestant’s performance in each challenge throughout the show; they’ve been perfectly logical with their decisions, rewarding consistency. I have no complaints yet. What are your thoughts? Leave me a comment!
“Claggy” count: 0 (running total: 5)
“Concertina” count: 0 (running total: 1)
High point: “Oh, wow! Finn MacCool!” – Iain, with elfish delight, setting up his little decorated “giant” pastry figurines on his Giant’s Causeway-themed tart; immediate cut to a rather harried and grumpy Toby, glaring, muttering “no matter how stressful it is, you can always hear Iain having a nice time.”
Low point: Paul’s little temper tantrum at Toby while judging his signature. Not even a single word of congratulations for making the full puff pastry work, after being explicity told “it’s not possible”? Paul even dropped the word “bloody” in there (which, if I understand correctly, is a pretty vicious word to use, over in the UK). Is it just me, or did it seem like Paul was kind of mad that Toby proved him wrong? His thing wasn’t even that bad! To me, this kind of set a sour tone for the whole rest of the episode.
The bake that I would most have liked to eat: Toby’s burnt honey and mascarpone tart with blackberry reduction. Such a bummer that he didn’t have time to finish the little goat decorations (he thought had 4.5 hours but it was actually only four; I felt so bad for him, because that’s the exact same kind of dumb mistake that I make in my own life on the daily), but, the judges still loved the flavors. It sounded awesome! Toby was apparently my hero this week.
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Contains spoilers for this episode of GBBO!
“I’m a chronically disorganized person; worried about all of it, really!” – Toby, when asked what he’s worried about going into the showstopper
“Doin’ hand jelly again!” – Iain, frantically carrying handfuls of cherry jelly across his station as time runs out in the signature
Of note this episode: Tom and Noel made a deal that if Tom gets to the final, there will be banana coladas served. (Banana coladas? Sounds gross, imo, but as we know Paul is a big fan of banana flavor.) It’s almost certain that Tom will be in the final, so I’m eager to see if they follow through on this! Do you think they will?
In the little intro interview Nadia coolly observed that she felt confident, going into Chocolate Week, and knew what she was doing. The second she said that, my husband remarked: “She’s doomed.” We’ve learned to pay attention to these little subtle, foreshadowy hints that the editors drop. Poor Nadia! Meanwhile Aaron, in the same segment, said that he loves chocolate, and seemed excited and happy. My brain is tempted to try and squeeze some sort of spiritual lesson out of this, that it’s better to work from a place of love rather than from any sort of confidence in ourselves, or something, hahaha. But I think it was just thoughtful editing.
It’s too bad about Nadia. But I was thrilled for Aaron! Especially after all Alison’s jokes about the “rivalry” between Aaron and Tom, who both did tiramisu flavors in the signature; Tom, thus far, had had two star bakers, as Alison pointed out, while Aaron had none yet. The win was a pleasant surprise! It’s funny: I don’t typically love the flavors that Aaron chooses – they’re always so highbrow and adventurous! Thyme-infused white chocolate tart? Five-spice and sesame florentine? Not for me. But, he’s just so likeable and nice, and just seems like a really lovely individual, and his style is so elegant and stylish. I guess I choose my favorites based on personality rather than products. Is that weird? My husband thinks Aaron will be a finalist. Maybe the Curse of Mith’s Favorite is finally broken!
Readers, what do we think of the switched-up format for the Technical this week? Artistic license! The “gingham pantry!” This was something they’ve literally never done before. In the technical, everyone always has to make the exact same dessert, that’s the rules; but this week, they got to top their white chocolate tarts however they wanted and choose their own flavor combinations. I personally loved it, as a one-time surprise, maybe something to do very seldom – but wouldn’t want to see it become a regular thing. Because the whole point of the technical is comparing different iterations of a single recipe.
Who had your favorite flavor combo in the technical? I loved Nadia’s blackberry-raspberry, but then she came in last. Jasmine’s looked great, too, with the raspberry and hazelnut and dark chocolate ganache; but the judges said the dark chocolate overpowered and took away from the white, when it was supposed to be “about” the white chocolate. Which is fair, but, still sounds delicious. Poor Iain this challenge! Watching him drop that tart was physically painful. At least he stayed in good spirits about it.
Speaking of Iain, Paul commented that his showstopper looked like something out of Lord of the Rings, which was perfectly accurate, and the most Iain thing ever, because as you know I believe that he is secretly an elf. I was glad to see little Iain do well this episode. Although the technical was a disaster for him, he did well in both signature and showstopper. His fondue display was a recreation of some green Irish hillside that looked straight out of JRR Tolkien’s imagination. And but so he’s planning to propose to his very tall and very beautiful pole-dancing girlfriend at this very same elf kingdom locale in the near future!? How dear! Iain and Dervla: they do look and sound like two fantasy characters come to life, don’t they? I guess he has to do it now, and stat, because if he chickens out and then the season airs, everyone’s going to want to know what happened. Godspeed, little elf! I’m looking forward to the little updates that they always air during the end credits after the finale, now.
Can’t not talk about how there were not one, but two Hollywood Handshakes given out this episode. In the beginning of the season, I said that there were no clear front-runners, but by this point, halfway through, Tom and Jasmine have definitely emerged as very clear front-runners. It’s hard to say which one is “better,” out of the two of them; they’re neck and neck. Tom seems more artsy and daring while Jasmine seems more classic and traditional. I’ll be positively floored if either one of them is eliminated before the final.
Other highlights of this episode: Lesley “Techy Les” winning the technical! You all know I’m a fan of Lesley – she’s probably my other favorite alongside Aaron – and it was nice to see her in the spotlight. Nataliia’s “Last Day in Pompeii” showstopper was so cool; she always goes all-out with her ideas, and this time is really paid off; that black cocoa cake with raspberry-white chocolate sauce, mango-passionfruit curd and choux buns filled with passionfruit crème: dang! She’s out there doing the most. She has such a big, bright, and colorful personality, and seems to really pour that into her desserts. Also, Prue’s fruit-themed sweater: 10/10. On the downside, though, I was so disappointed that Toby’s showstopper didn’t get good marks. The campsite theme with the marshmallow and graham cracker cookies for dipping was such a clever idea, and seemed very “Toby.” Toby’s probably my other other favorite, alongside Lesley and Aaron. I kind of wish they could all win. Halfway through! Alas, it’s going by so quickly! We’ll find out soon enough.
“Claggy” count: 0 (running total: 5)
“Concertina” count: 0 (running total: 1)
High point: Obviously Aaron winning star baker! His happiness is so infectious. Consistency is key, and Paul said that his piano was one of the best thing he’d seen in chocolate in a while. His little coffee cups in the signature were immaculate, too!
Low point: Nadia’s signature challenge not working out. I was so excited to see white chocolate pistachio strawberry mousse cups – that sounded delightful, and was the dessert I was most excited about this challenge! They reminded me of little Easter eggs – but, tragically, the mousse didn’t set and the judges weren’t pleased.
The dessert that I would most have liked to eat: I was bummed that almost all of the chocolate mousse cups in this challenge included booze. Pretty sure Jasmine’s chocolate-hazelnut one was one of the only ones that didn’t mention some kind of liqueur, so I’ll have to go with hers; can’t go wrong with those flavors. Although, Iain’s little medieval chalices looked so cool, and I love chocolate-cherry; if only he hadn’t flavored them with beer!
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Contains Spoilers for this episode, and for season 15 (2024)!
Won’t lie: as an American, this episode had me confused! When I hear “flapjacks,” I think “pancakes.” What on earth is a British flapjack? According to Google, a British flapjack is a “baked oat bar, made from rolled oats, butter, sugar, and golden syrup, resulting in a chewy, sweet, and buttery treat that can be customized with ingredients like nuts or dried fruit.” So kind of like what we Americans might just call an “oat bar.” I learned a thing today!
I was also unfamiliar with “school cake,” although this one was pretty self-explanatory; I guess this must be a lunchroom staple, over there, probably very nostalgic for an adult of my generation, the way I feel about tater tots, or those little cardboard cartons of chocolate milk (remember those??).
And then, the showstopper: a summer school fête stall display? What is a summer school fête? As my husband pointed out, “Here in America we don’t do festivals, we do active shooter drills!” Lol. Google tells me that a British summer school fête is “a traditional, outdoor school event held during the summer term, featuring games, activities, and stalls to raise money for the school and foster community spirit,” which sounds charming and festive indeed, and, like so much of this show, makes me wish I were British.
I actually didn’t care for the showstopper challenge this episode, though. The fact that they had to demonstrate three separate baking disciplines meant that, out of necessity, people kept it pretty straightforward with their flavors, for the most part; no one dessert really stood out as particularly showstopping, imo. But most of them did really well in this challenge. Only Jessika, Aaron, and Iain dropped the ball.
Luckily for me, though, Aaron, my current favorite, came in second in the technical and absolutely killed it in the signature! His “flappy Js” (as Toby called them, lol) looked pristine, and his daring flavor choices paid off. Earl grey, whipped ganache, and lemon jam: not my personal cup of tea (ha ha), but I was just so pleased to see Aaron do well. If only his macaron had come together in the showstopper, he very well could have been star baker!
But Jasmine really deserved the win again. She nailed every single challenge this week, didn’t do a single thing wrong, even came in first in the technical. As Paul said at the end, she is One To Watch. It was so obvious who was going to win and who was going home this week that I’d already written down both names at the bottom of my notebook page before they even announced them. (Yes, I take notes while watching, so that I can write these blog posts; my memory is not that good.)
It was too bad though about Jessika! Like Prue said, she was so adventurous and creative, her ambition just got the best of her this week. I don’t drink wine anymore, but if I did, red wine/poached pear/stem ginger/dark chocolate probably would have been my “dessert I would most have liked to eat” this week; it sounded gorgeous. And honestly, the dinosaur she made in the showstopper was still incredibly cool, like, if an ordinary person in their home kitchen, not on a TV show, made something like that, it would blow everyone’s minds. Jessika was really likeable, and, as my husband pointed out, had kind of a Sporty Spice vibe. She will be missed.
It was almost Nadia this week. Her chocolate didn’t set in the signature, simply because she had so much of it (which, although a failure, looked delicious, especially combined with her cherry and coconut flavors!); I winced watching her drag a knife through that still-wet chocolate. And then she came last in the technical. But, she pulled it back with that extremely daring showstopper – she managed to pull off not three, but four separate treats, including those very convincing little brownie “burgers.” What a relief!
And I was bummed for poor little Iain that things didn’t work out for him this week. His banana bread flapjacks were underbaked (although, he claimed that he was going for that, to which Paul responded with acerbic sarcasm; how dare anyone try to correct Paul!); he did okay in the technical, coming in third, but then his showstopper was one of the worst. There was too much plastic in his display, and the judges weren’t pleased with his flavors – Paul even made a disgusted face when he tasted the too-sweet meringue. And dear little Iain just seemed so downtrodden, like, he seems to take it really personally when he doesn’t do his best – poor kid! But, hey, at least he got a chance to announce to the world that he’s dating a pole dancer, so, I guess he’s doing okay.
And so now we’re down to eight. I can’t believe how quickly this season is going by! It’s so sad to me. I wait all year for this! I still think Tom could be the winner; he did really well this week in both the signature and the showstopper: his over-the-top “abstract apples” in the signature ended up almost perfect, and that showstopper “science fair” display was really impressive – he even managed to pull of the disgusting-looking little petri dish crème brulees! So, he’s still my pick for winner, as of right now.
And I still think Iain will stick around for a while, too, even though he’s had a couple of bad weeks; I have a feeling that he will find his rhythm and rise back up to the top. Jasmine will probably also be a finalist; she has that consistency and that crowd-pleasing, classic style, kind of like Georgie who won last season. So that’s my current prediction for the final three. Although, I’m still personally cheering for Aaron. Let’s hope I don’t curse him like I did Hassan and Pui Man.
Oh, and once again, I can’t not mention Noel’s shirt. His fashion choices are always entertaining, but rarely if ever do I think “I’d also wear that;” but two weeks in a row now!
“Claggy” count: 1 (running total: 5)
“Concertina” count: 0 (running total: 1)
High point: “Does this mean we’re going out now?” – Noel to Alison during the technical, when he gave her the fortune teller. I may not be British but that whole halftime interlude was hard-hitting nostalgia for me! I used to love making fortune tellers for people at school (actually, I never really quit this, haha, I’d make them for my coworkers too, when we had downtime at work). And, hearing someone utter the phrase “going out” to mean “dating/in a relationship” – wow, I’d blocked that one out of my memory, lol! How asinine! Only 4th-8th graders use that phrase, I’m pretty sure, which is funny because kids that age are obviously not “going out” anywhere because they’re too young to drive, so for them “going out” just means “holding hands during recess” or “PDAs during lunch.” And once you’re old enough to actually take someone out on a date, you’ve outgrown the label “going out.”
Low point: Watching poor little Iain get his feelings hurt.
The dessert that I would most have liked to eat: Nataliia’s apple mousse in the showstopper! Genius. It was even in the shape of a perfect little apple, and the judges said it tasted so appley. With it being fall now, but still hot and muggy af (because I live in the South), this is precisely the dessert that I need in my life right now.
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How fitting that my one hundredth post on this silly little blog should contain a silly little epiphany about the previous ninety-nine posts of said blog.
It seems I’m always going on about whether it’s okay to do this, whether it’s okay to do that. You probably find it annoying, and believe me, I do too! Sometimes while wondering about all these various conundra, I lapse into meta-wondering, and ask myself: why is it that I wonder about these things? Why can’t I just intuit what is the right thing to do in these situations? Why is it that some people, like the saints for example, just know what the right thing to do is?
And it occurred to me: I think the problem might be that I’ve been coming at this from the wrong angle.
“Can I get away with this?” “Can I get away with that?” “Is it permissible to do xyz?” Yikes. Imagine if your best friend or your spouse approached your relationship with that kind of attitude! If your husband was all “hey, I know it’s not cheating, technically, so is it permissible to stare at other women’s butts now and then if it’s just for a few seconds?”, or if your best friend was like “as long as I’m not actually making fun of her, is it okay if I just chuckle a little when someone else makes fun of her behind her back? because nothing personal but it was a really funny joke” – Both of these would be pretty abhorrent, wouldn’t they?
If you really love someone, it’d be pretty unthinkable to approach your relationship with them that way. The saints would approach their relationship with God from a perspective not of “how much can I get away with?” but “how much can I give up to please Him? How can I possibly give more?”
If something is at all questionable, then giving it up for God’s sake ought to be a no-brainer! It ought to be seen as a delight, even a privilege! The more unnecessary pleasures we have the opportunity to give up for God, the more sacrifices we can offer Him, the luckier we are, the more blessed we will be, right?
So why don’t I just do it then! Why do I still enjoy my little unnecessary, frivolous, worldly pleasures.
Well, because I guess it could be argued that doing so helps me to function well, by generally easing the burden of existence enough that it’s somewhat easier to do my work? But, maybe I shouldn’t be trying to ease the burden. Maybe I should be trying to take on more of a burden. That’s what a saint would do, isn’t it?
I could continue to argue at this point, and keep trying to poke little holes and make little excuses here and there for why unnecessary pleasures are actually okay, but I’m starting to feel like maybe the saints are really just people who (to radically oversimplify) are better at being uncomfortable than most of us. Maybe they didn’t actually enjoy discomfort any more than the next person, they just did it anyway.
Now I’m not trying to be like super extreme or anything. I’m well aware that even traditional priests and religious set aside time for recreation. But in these cases, “recreation” is limited, both in quantity and quality, to just what is necessary to refresh the soul, and it’s nothing unwholesome: things like outdoor sports, crafts, reading, talking with others, etc. They’re not, like, scrolling instagram or watching netflix or listening to shitty music or snacking on junk food or reading crime thrillers. They’re not doing anything that could be described as “lazy” or “trashy,” I’m pretty sure.
Is there ever an excuse for any pleasures that are useless/trashy/lazy? Sure, I could just go “well, I’m not a saint yet, no point pretending I am one” and proceed to listen to my trash music and watch my trash reels and shows and eat cookies. But how else will I become a saint if I don’t give up all that junk? Is there room in a healthy diet for junk food? – When I was very serious about being skinny, I believed that there was absolutely no room for empty calories, which I can see now was disordered; am I falling once again into the trap of black/white thinking? Is it disordered to worry that there is no room for useless pleasures on the path to becoming a saint? Or is that really true?
On the one hand: if I really love God, why would I waste a single second on anything that might be less than pleasing to Him? If I even begin to realize how much I owe Him, then why would I still try to get away with even the slightest questionable behavior?
On the other hand: God in His infinite mercy and wisdom loves me even as the little trash person that I am, and He has a design for me that perhaps I should trust in; He will elevate me to holiness if and when He chooses to, and there’s nothing I can do about it, so perhaps I should just accept that as long as I’m doing my prayers and receiving the Sacraments and trying to avoid sin and all, I’m doing well enough for my state in life, and leave any advancements up to God?
There are a lot of directions that I could take this in right now – my train of thought is branching off along like six different little paths right now – but, I’ll try to keep it concise. Probably the mere fact that I take all this time to write these stupid, rambly blog posts is just evidence of how far I am from holiness. Happy one hundredth post! Isn’t this apt. May God have mercy on me for my trashiness.
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Spoilers ahead for this episode of GBBO!
First of all, Noel’s shirt this week, am I right?! I would wear that.
Second of all, yep: the curse of Mith’s Favorite has struck again. I saw that one coming. I was hoping, for a moment there after that awesome coconut-cherry cocktail in the showstopper, that Pui Man had redeemed herself and would end up staying. But alas. I guess this was fair, because the flavors were off in her monkey bread and she came last in the technical (which was especially disappointing since she herself predicted that she would come in last in the technical, so it felt like she kind of cursed herself, too, even though she’s made doughnuts at home many times; I guess she just doesn’t do well in that format, I guess, which, can’t blame her). I’m kind of afraid to admit that Aaron is my new favorite; watch out, Aaron. I will miss Pui Man so much. I finally figured out why she’s so endearing to me: she reminds me very much of a younger, Chinese version of my MIL, who is an absolute treasure and I love dearly and get along well with.
Similarly, I figured out that part of the reason I’m so charmed by Lesley is that she reminds me of an older version of this girl I used to be friends with way back in the day – one of my first-ever friends, whom I met and connected with before my AvPD really got bad: a girl I met in preschool and stayed friends with throughout elementary and into high school. Both the hair color and the stature and the pleasant, relaxed personality: happy and quick to laugh, but neither loud nor pushy nor obnoxious, just kind of comfortably reserved. What a lovely person! And, I was surprised and impressed that Lesley managed to out-korovai the actual Ukrainian korovai, in this challenge. Poor Nataliia! Her own grandmother’s recipe! I wonder if that was a bread that she was so comfortable making that she didn’t stress as much about technical perfection as someone who’s less familiar with it (i.e. Lesley) might have.
Speaking of Nataliia, I just adore her, don’t you agree? In addition to being ridiculously pretty, she has this infectious energy that’s really fun to watch. Ten minutes into the show she’d already screamed with excitement three times, lol. This was not her best week overall, but I still think she could be a finalist. Nadia, who imo is the other ridiculously pretty one this season, did quite well this week. She was second the technical, and her showstopper sounded incredible – brioche with raspberry crème pat, white chocolate, and buttercream roses. That was a close second for my “bread I would most have liked to eat this week.”
And speaking of Nadia – I learned a thing this week! Had anyone else never heard of ‘nduja before in their life?! According to the internet, ‘nduja is a spicy, spreadable fermented pork sausage – which, ugh, sounds positively vile! But wow. I’ve watched so many baking competition shows by this point in my life, sometimes it feels like I’ve seen it all; it’s not often that I learn an entirely new ingredient! ‘Nduja came up twice just in this challenge alone, which made my head spin a bit; Jasmine used it as well.
Which, speaking of Jasmine: congratulations to her! Star baker was well-deserved this week. She did well in the signature, then won the technical, and then her showstopper was a masterpiece! The presentation was stunning, with that perfect piping and all the greenery surrounding it; she really captured the Swedish midsummer thing. And selfishly I’m glad that they included the bit in which Jasmine explains her hair situation, too, because maybe I’m just a shitty person but I could not stop wondering why she was so very bald. Good for her for being so unashamed about it.
What else? – Poor Iain! He did so well in the signature, but dropped down to #6 in the technical, and then the judges came down so freaking hard on his Samhain-inspired loaf in the showstopper. Was it really that bad?! They said it was too wet, but it didn’t look that bad, and the decorations were honestly cool! It was supposed to be creepy and Halloweeny, I mean come on, remember Helena from 2019? If she could do it every single challenge, why can’t Iain? I just couldn’t believe they were so harsh, I thought it still looked and sounded quite good despite being doughy. And the poor kid felt so bad afterwards. He was just devastated! He really thought he was going home. As sad as I am that Pui Man went home, I’m glad that Iain will live to compete another week.
A couple of LOL moments: Toby pointing out Aaron’s “unbelievable stance” while kneading dough for the showstopper, and Alison’s “WHAT IS THAT?!” to Tom’s little chocolate tree logs as he was rolling them. The magic tea towel joke and all of the “hole” jokes in the technical, however, made my prudish self a bit uncomfortable.
“Claggy” count: 2 (running total: 4)
“Concertina” count: 0 (running total: 1)
High point: Aaron’s dramatic comeback in the Showstopper. He seemed really upset after not doing well in the signature, and this particular bread he devoted to his two friends who died a couple years ago. The finished product was a masterpiece! Prue called it “faultless,” and Paul said he’d done a “decent job” which from Paul is very high praise. Then Aaron himself said in the little exit interview that it was one of his personal favorite things he’d ever made. I’m so pleased that he did well, and love to see a baker create something really heartfelt and do so well at it; it’s one of the best things about these baking competition shows. I’m not a baker myself, so it’s honestly hard for me to comprehend “baking from the heart” – how can baking be heartfelt? for me, baking is just following recipes and trying not to screw up, so I’m like, how is that self-expression? May as well talk about balancing a checkbook from the heart, lol – but at moments like these, I can really see what it means for someone to truly express themselves through baking.
Low point: My favorite going home, ofc. And watching poor little Iain feel so bad about himself undeservedly. With his quirky/artistic sensibility and his highly sensitive personality, he reminds me just a bit of Dylan from last season, don’t you think? Dylan also famously overreacted to bad critiques, and was really hard on himself. I guess it’s hard, when this is your passion that’s being scrutinized; Lord knows I would never have the guts to let my little creations face judgment on international TV. Loved Iain’s pretzel earring, too.
The bread that I would most have liked to eat: Iain again: his “Irish cheese board” monkey bread. He did three different flavor combos – blue cheese with pear and nut, hard cheese with apple and onion, and a brie-like soft cheese with blackberry, and this he served on an actual board alongside sliced fresh fruit including figs. Which all sounded delightful; plus, I love Irish stuff, so this made me happy.
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Needless to say, this post contains spoilers for the show Adolescence.
A month or so ago, my husband and I watched Adolescence, which as you probably know is a highly critically-acclaimed British limited series, released earlier this year, available on Netflix. Which, btw, I just saw that that young actor just became the youngest boy ever to win an Emmy; well deserved, he acted the heck out of that role, damn. And I guess it was nominated for a ton of other Emmys as well, so I needn’t waste any time talking about what a good show it is. Personally I love the limited series format, and I wish that more shows would limit themselves to just one season; all too often, the creators keep on dragging things along long after the story’s died and rotted, just because there’s money to be had, and it’s disgusting.
But so anyway, as you know if you read this blog, I am a really stupid person and not any kind of critic or anything, so I can’t contribute anything of value to the existing discussions of this show. I don’t pay any attention to the whole “redpill” thing or to whoever Andrew Tate is, so I can’t comment on any of that, although it did seem painfully obvious to me that whoever wrote this show has like intense personal beef with this Andrew Tate. I haven’t been inside of a high school in seventeen years (thanks be to God), so I can’t comment much on the state of public education, either, although from what I’ve heard this show depicted it very accurately, which, yikes.
No, as is the case on this entire blog, I have no expertise, so the only thing I can really put out there is my personal reaction, in case anyone out there, like me, just wants to talk about it. And for me, the big takeaway, the thing that I was left thinking about for days and weeks afterwards, was: do we have any control, then, over who we are, and how our kids turn out?
As a mom of little kids, I worry about this a lot. Maybe it’s a “millennial mom” thing, but it gives me a lot of anxiety, trying not to mess up my kids. I always overthink about every single thing I say to them, and worry that I’m psychologically damaging them no matter what I do. At the end of the day: “I was too mean and strict, they’re going to be traumatized and go no-contact with me as soon as they’re grown up, and rightfully so!” Or: “I was too lenient, I’m spoiling them, what would my priest say?!, they’re not going to have any sense of respect or discipline, I am one of ‘those’ modern parents, I am part of what’s wrong with society!” It seems that no matter what I say, I always look back on it at the end of the day and think that I should have said the opposite. No matter what I do, I am damaging them somehow, and setting them up for a future full of misery and expensive psychotherapy. But, how much control do I actually have over my kids’ outcome?
In the last episode of Adolescence, it seemed like the show was simultaneously blaming Jamie’s parents, and excusing them from culpability for his actions. Yes, it was their fault, because Dad had unresolved anger issues and was at work all the time, and Mom didn’t pay attention to the warning signs, like the way that Jamie was just in his room on the computer all the time. But, also, Dad couldn’t really help it, could he, because his own dad was violent with him, and Jamie’s dad was just doing the best he could, trying to contain his rage and not take it out on his kids (but instead on things like sheds and vans). And I guess the idea was that Mom wasn’t really at fault because she lives in a world where teenagers sitting on their computers all day is normalized. Both parents were, in their ways, just products of their own upbringing and environment.
Aren’t we all? How much control do I even have over myself and my own choices? I’m not going to talk about whether or not free will exists. That question is too mind-bendy for me. As a Catholic, I know that it is somehow both true that free will exists and that God has the ultimate power as well as foreknowledge of how everything will end up – that I simultaneously have control over my actions and have no control whatsoever, which is confusing, but it makes sense as long as you don’t think about it too hard, because it certainly appears true that we have free will, and it feels weird to think otherwise. As you can tell I’m far from equipped to talk about such lofty subjects as free will.
So I guess the question here is, can anyone ever not be just a product of their own upbringing and environment? Can anyone ever not doom their children to be just products of their upbringing and environment? Is it really all just one big hopeless vicious cycle of disorder and trauma?
I admittedly stress about this a lot, and that stress definitely swelled up again, for a while, after watching Adolescence. But fortunately for me, I am, as I already mentioned, Catholic, and in the Catholic Church, we are shown the way to freedom – to breaking that hopeless cycle.
Sure, as long as you’re just being yourself, living according to your own human limitations, seeking no more than as much human satisfaction as you can get, you’re going to be stuck in the cycle. You’re probably doomed to misery. I do not know this firsthand, as I am definitely not a saint, but I know from reading the lives of the saints, that the only way to escape that cycle – to breach the surface of these whirling murky waters of human pain and struggle, and finally take a breath of air – is to become a saint. I’m pretty sure that’s the only way to be actually free. A saint is the only kind of person who’s entirely free from the world and all its emotional/psychic/material anguish. A saint lives entirely in the truth.
Hm, so, does that mean that, if I’m not a literal saint, I’m doomed to be a shitty parent, and my kids are doomed to generational trauma?
Well, first of all, I think there’s a common misconception about saints that they never do a single thing wrong. That’s not what a saint is. The saints are not the same as Christ or the Blessed Mother. On earth, they weren’t perfect. They sometimes get things wrong. But the thing that made them saints was that they loved God very much and were entirely devoted to doing His will, not their own. They are already living in eternity; they have their priorities straight. But they’re still people, i.e. imperfect. So, I don’t think it’s necessarily true that one must never ever make a single mistake in order to be a good parent, to raise mentally-healthy kids.
What, then, is the secret? – No, really, can somebody tell me? Lol. I try to do my best, but my oldest is still only five, so despite having four kids, I’m still quite new at this.
I figure probably one of the most important things one can do, when it comes to raising kids who are free from the vicious cycle that is the human condition – i.e., kids who have the best chance at true happiness – is to pass on the Faith to them. That is the most important thing that we can give them. But of course, we should also practice what we preach. It’s not going to help our kids much if we teach certain habits and virtues but behave completely differently in our own everyday lives. That will just lead to confusion and fallen-away souls. The responsibility of being a Catholic parent is incredibly daunting. Which is why stories like Adolescence make me so anxious. Am I doing enough to save my kids? Am I doing enough, am I doing enough, am I doing enough?? If you’re a mom, even a secular mom, you get it!
I’m never doing enough, it seems – but, at least my children will know their Blessed Mother, who is perfect, and who will never fail them like I inevitably will to some degree.
It’s always interesting to me when secular stories like this accidentally profess the truth of God and His infinite love. Yes, every person is indeed doomed to a cycle of hopelessness and ruin, evil and pain, if they try to live without God. I guess all good art tells us something about God, really, and that’s why it is good.
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Funny you should ask, WordPress. This week was my birthday, so I’ve been thinking a lot about getting older and the advice that I wish I could give to my younger self. There is quite a lot of it, so this prompt will also be a Top 10. This was supposed to be silly and fun, but to my unpleasant surprise I actually experienced Feelings while writing this, ugh.
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Dear Adolescent Mith: a few words of advice from your future self:
12. Stop it with the sketchpads. Seriously. Get over yourself; you’re not an artist. At the very least, stop bringing your drawing stuff to school. Don’t carry all those papers around. That’s going to get you in trouble and embarrass you. Just keep your little pictures, your little scribblings, inside your head where they, and you, are safe. I mean this in the nicest way possible: no one cares about them anyway, and carrying them around does not make you look mysterious or cool.
11. Don’t let fear keep you away from things you want to do. Sometimes the people-y aspect of a thing can make it so scary/unpleasant that you will forget that you actually do want to do that thing. Like, going to the barn is hard, because you don’t fit in, there’s social pressure, and fear of doing something wrong or getting snapped at. Also, horses are kinda scary. But you love horses, and will later wish you’d never quit, and will long for another chance to learn to ride, like the one you had then. You must learn the difference between something you really want to do and something you feel like you want to do.
10. Don’t get tattoos. It sounds so cool now, I get it, but listen: you will regret it. It will, at some point, just make you look old and sloppy and cheap. And you may not comprehend this now, but there actually will come a day when you don’t want to look sloppy and cheap.
9. Learn some skills. I know it sucks, because your teacher has an attitude and, being the friendless loser in class with no one to be your partner, you got randomly lumped into a group with those two jock guys who like to goof off – but, please, try to pay attention in home ec. Learn on your own, as well. Learn how to cook actual meals (not just salads and saltine crackers and shit). Learn how to mend clothes, how to knit and crochet, how to iron, how to actually clean a house, how to garden, how to decorate; learn about first aid and natural remedies. Pretend it’s the olden days. One day you will wish you knew how to do these things, but you will no longer have any time.
8. Stop doing things you don’t want to do. Following up from #11: ask yourself: do I really want to be doing this particular extracurricular activity? Why am I wasting all my electives on band class when I don’t even want to be in band? Do I want to play this musical instrument? Do I want to be in this school play? Or am I doing it because my teacher tells me I’m good at it and I’m afraid of disappointing them? Newsflash: people do not care about you that much. Gym class? Skip it. Just leave. Just walk out of the building and go hide in the woods behind the school like you always fantasize about doing. So what!! It’s public school, child. It doesn’t matter that much. No one’s going to kill you for skipping this stupid class. Sure, there are some things that you have to do, like go to school in general – but you don’t have to do it perfectly.
7. Stay close to your sister. Don’t let dumb shit get in the way of that friendship.
6. There are worse things to be than fat, believe it or not. And it’s not true that “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.” Being skinny is not going to fix you. You’d be happier and enjoy your limited time more if you just said “fuck it” and let yourself be a little fat. I know you don’t believe it when anyone else tells you that, so take it from me, since I am you.
5. It’s ok to be uncomfortable; in fact, to an extent, it is good to be uncomfortable; comfort is a lie. I mean psychological discomfort. Drinking will ease psychological discomfort temporarily, but it will fuck up your life majorly because you will be living inside of what is, basically, a lie. If I had to give you some advice right now about drinking, it would be: try it once, if you must, and see what it does to you, and then set it aside, knowing that that feeling is a lie and leads nowhere. Stop wallowing in self-pity and learn about the value of actual self-denial. (I’m not talking about going on a diet – what I mean is, denying the part of yourself that says drinking and dieting are necessary. Yes, it is hard.) It is better to live in the truth, i.e. the fact that life is uncomfortable. I hope this makes sense.
4. Save money and, for goodness sake, stay out of debt. I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but guess what: the future actually does exist! And you exist in it! The choices that you make now will have a permanent effect on our life. Do me a favor and save some of that money you earned at your job instead of blowing it on candles and magazines and treats. Save that money from your grandfather instead of blowing it on vacations. Don’t keep taking out massive loans for school and trusting in this whimsical idea that “you’ll pay them off once you have a job” without having any idea what that job actually will be.
3. On that note, don’t chase your “dream.” If you must go to college (which, I don’t think you must), major in chemistry. You were good at that in high school, remember? You liked it! But you let things scare you off from that field of study, and decided it was best to Follow Your Heart. Don’t do that. Know thyself: you are an INTJ, you are designed to work in the sciences. You’re not a writer or an artist – you just like to indulge in your imagination because it’s fun, but hey!, you can still do that in your free time while making money as a research scientist or something like that. All that junk you’re told about following your heart and chasing your dreams – I’m sorry, but it is BS. At least, for you it is, because your “dream” is just a will-o’-the-wisp. Trust me, I have your best interests at heart here.
2. Forget about boys. Take heed: it is neither good nor necessary to date boys at this point, or do anything else with them. You scoff at those who save themselves for marriage, but set aside your prejudices and think about it, if you’re so “smart.” Dating boys will not validate you. It will not make you cool, it will not make you worthwhile, it will not make you more interesting or more of a real person or more of a real girl or any of that junk that you believe. You will not be missing out on some crucial element of life by not dating boys as a teenager. Seriously, just stay away from them, unless they want to (and I know you’ll laugh at this) protect your purity and become your husband. Your poor decisions will cause you a good deal of, and I do not use this word lightly, trauma, which will make things difficult long into your future. I know it’s not your fault; you were just a dumb kid out there in an ugly world, never taught otherwise, so I try not to hold it against you.
1. Go to church. Yeah, I know how you feel about that. You think you’re really smart, don’t you? Here’s what I wish you would do: remember that teacher in high school, the Philosophy/English teacher that you loved so much, whom you adored and who was something of a hero for you, but you just couldn’t get your head around the fact that she was Roman Catholic? Like, how could she be so smart and wise and cool but also religious?? Go to her after class sometime and ask her about it. Or, that nice Catholic kid in your class, the one whom everyone likes because he’s so humble and good and kind to every single person that he meets? Even you?! Ask him about it sometime. I dare you. Just try it.
I know you surely think future you has gone bat-shit crazy, reading this, but listen: I’m still you. We are the same person. The weirdest thing about getting older, is, you’re still exactly the same person, just with more experience. Old people are not a different species. You don’t graduate from youth and become someone else. Things just keep happening, one after the other, and it feels like your body gets older but you don’t. It’s actually really bizarre. So take my word for it. Go to church. Your parents aren’t right about everything.
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Contains Spoilers for this episode!!
Crisis averted! If you read my reaction to last week’s episode, you know that, when I choose a contestant as my favorite, it typically dooms that contestant to an early failure. My husband says I’m like a sniper in the trees outside of the tent, choosing my favorites. I was really afraid, in the first two challenges, that my curse was going to work its cruel magic again. It was not looking good for Pui Man! What the heck even happened to her caramel in the technical?! (Paul taking one look at her poor disintegrating hobnobs and just going “whot??!”, lmao.) But wow, did she ever pull it back in the Showstopper. That recreation of the floating restaurant in Hong Kong was incredible, flawless, and the judges raved about the “beautifully spiced” gingerbread and the way that it snapped. (Personally, I don’t care for cookies that “snap,” but, whatever.) I was so pleased to see her finally earn such stellar feedback.
Speaking of the showstopper, what kind of a crazy challenge was that? A 3D, functioning time “capshoole” box containing five mementos to represent a time in their life: who comes up with this stuff?!
This was the kind of challenge that makes me think about what I would make if I were on the show (if I had any sort of baking talent whatsoever). Do you ever do that? For a “time capsule” challenge, I’d probably try to build a gingerbread model of my house, which is a super cute brick split-level with a gambrel roof, and then for the mementos I’d make one each to represent my husband and kids: a teapot for my tea-loving husband, a copy of Charlotte’s Web for my five-year-old, a toy hedgehog for my four-year-old, a MagnaTile for my two-year-old, and maybe like a onesie for my youngest, who is two months old and doesn’t have any particular hobbies or interests yet. What would you guys make??
It was a tough challenge, but everyone did really well, I mean even the ones who got poor feedback (Toby, Aaron) did pretty well. Aaron’s cherry blossom decorations looked beautiful, with that sakura cherry buttercream, how clever. Although, I lol’d when Paul opened it and pulled out the “memento” cookies, which were, hm, not so beautifully decorated, and Paul goes “whot the hell is that?!” “that ain’t no scroll!” Ahh, I’m so sorry Aaron, but that was hilarious.
Toby didn’t do great this challenge either, but they did say that his chocolate-orange treasure chest looked amazing. It was a lot of ups and downs for Toby this episode. Toby, who’s my husband’s favorite because he has what my husband describes as a likeably “redneck” or “trailer park” vibe (husband’s words, not mine; don’t @ me), is one of my favorites as well, because I like his flavor ideas thus far. As you know, his cake in last week’s episode was my choice of “Dessert I’d most like to eat,” and this week I very nearly awarded him that honor again for his banana peanut slice & bake cookies with honey and cinnamon – unfortunately, both judges commented that the flavors didn’t really work out.
And speaking of the signature challenge: slice and bake! This was a good choice of challenge, and fun to watch, although I wished Pui Man’s had worked out. When Noel was chatting with her and asked her if she had ever managed to finish it in time while practicing at home, and she was just like “no” – lol. The way Noel completely didn’t know what to say to that, for once, and just decided to stop the joke there and walk away.
Aaron’s was the cutest this challenge, with the little baby face! He nailed it. And I was lol’ing again at Alison and Paul’s little back-and-forth about Aaron’s cookies here: her observation about the chocolate mishap on the bottom, and the absolute disgusted “wtf” look that Paul gave her. Bewildered Paul was like a theme this episode, and I’m here for it. The whole joke about the one-eyed “Noel” cookie had me dying, too, especially the way they just kept showing it again and again. And Leighton’s orange slices with chocolate ganache dip looked and sounded amazing, and got great reviews from the judges!
Which, I was completely confused when they sent Leighton home!?! Why?? He didn’t do so badly in the showstopper; it seemed like the judges gave him, like, I’d say approximately a B- for his gingerbread piano, which was underbaked but they said was delicious. Yeah, he was tenth in the technical (“did you pipe through a hose??”), but his signature was one of the best. So I really don’t see why he got sent home rather than Aaron, who was eighth in technical and did badly in the showstopper, or Toby, who although he won the technical, did mediocre in the signature and received probably the worst feedback in the showstopper. I don’t know, something’s not adding up for me, here. I really like Aaron and Toby – Aaron’s probably one of my favorites after Pui Man, and Toby did make “the perfect hobnob” in the technical, which, maybe that carried him through – but it seemed like Leighton deserved to stay.
Nataliia was impressive again this episode. Her cake slice cookie box with a functioning drawer was awfully ambitious; it’s unfortunate that the roof caved in. But I’d still eat it. And she came in third in technical, too! I really think she is one to watch.
I still think Tom’s going to be the winner this season, though. He got a handshake for his showstopper – and right after Paul said that his handshake was on holiday. That little cottage did look incredible, with the flickering light inside and everything.
This is starting to get long, so before I go I’ll just mention that I’m starting to really like Lesley and Nadia, as well. Nadia’s tomato macarons in the showstopper sounded so cool! Paired with limoncello cookies: what a bright and unexpected way to represent her Italian culture. And she came in second in the technical. It was too bad she went with matcha in the signature, otherwise I bet that avocado cookie would have been delicious. And Lesley – I don’t know, she just seems like a lovely person, it makes me happy when she’s on the screen. Who are y’all’s favorites so far?
“Claggy” count: 0 (running total: 2)
“Concertina” count: 0 (running total: 1) (I guess it’s kind of hard for a cookie to be claggy or to concertina.)
High point: Pui Man’s comeback!
Low point: Poor Aaron’s showstopper not working out. I feel like Paul was too hard on him for that bridge breaking. It didn’t completely ruin the effect.
The dessert that I would most have liked to eat: Honestly, give me some of those bad hobnobs. Any of them; like, Leighton’s looked good to me. I know they were a technical “failure,” but personally think an extra soft and chewy oat cookie loaded with way too much caramel and chocolate on top sounds a heck of a lot tastier than something thin, dry, and crunchy.
Leave me a comment!
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As you know if you read this blog, I’m very worried about what kind of music is okay to listen to. And I worry a lot about why I like the kind of music that I do, what it does for me, et cetera.
I’ve found that, in most cases, I like to listen to bad music simply because it lifts my mood; it makes me feel less unhappy. Pausing to listen to a stupid song can sometimes allow me to then resume my daily duties with renewed energy and a more cheerful outlook. It’s a little bit intoxicating, maybe, like some kind of mood-lifting medication.
So then is it okay to listen to bad songs in like a medicinal way? To help myself out of a bad state of mind? I know that good ends do not justify bad means; but how bad are the means, if they don’t tempt me to sin? If they’re just a bit of unserious fun? Is levity always sinful? Can sinful songs be listened to in an unserious way?
I haven’t figured all of this out yet, obviously. But, this train of thought did lead me back to some of the songs that, historically, I’ve used therapeutically, to kind of help drag myself out of the depths of an intensely negative mental place. Also, being currently nine weeks postpartum, my brain’s been… not exactly in a super negative place, but just a really weird and erratic place (as you may have observed if you saw my most recent Rant, lol), so, I’ve been leaning on my music habit a bit more than I do when it’s at peak function.
All of which has inspired me to make another Top Ten for you. Not all of these songs are “bad” – in fact some of these are actually good, I think! See, my taste in music doesn’t completely suck. However, be advised that a lot of these songs are Bad, NSFW, and probably not good to listen to under normal circumstances.
Although all of these songs have a therapeutic affect on me, I probably wouldn’t put them all on a single playlist. For example, I’d have to be in very different moods to listen to 17 and 10, vs. something like 13 or 9; very different moods for 16 or 14 vs. 15 or 3. Some of these are for when you’re at rock bottom and want nothing to do with the world (17, 10, 7, 6, 5, 2, 1), others are for when you’re kind of just struggling with an annoying intrusive feeling (14, 13, 12, 3, 1) or recovering from a cringey interaction or misunderstanding (16, 13, 11, 8, 4). Some songs are better for combating the ED thoughts (17, 14, 9, 7, 6, 5, 2), while some are better for when AvPD symptoms are especially uncomfortable (16, 15, 13, 12, 11, 10, 8, 6, 4, 3, 2, 1). A few of these, like 1, 2, 5, or 6, could be used just about anytime; songs like that are such a blessing.
For fun, because I’m someone who enjoys a bit of synesthesia, I’m including the color that each song has for me.
Without further ado:
17. Monument by Mirah. Once upon a time in ED group therapy, one of the girls in the group made a mix CD for all of us (this was in like 2008 when CDs were still a thing). And this song was on the mix CD. It’s the only song I’ve ever heard that, imo, seems to deal directly with the topic of ED recovery. It’s a really pretty little song that feels like a friend talking to you; its color, for me, is mauve, kind of a dusty purplish raspberry.
16. Blind To You by Collie Buddz. Discovered this one during a short-lived reggae fusion phase that I had in summer ‘14, and it got me through some uncomfortable days at my job! This one’s definitely the yellow-orange of Kraft macaroni and cheese.
15. Smothered by Spineshank. There is indeed a time and place for nu metal. I’ve been into this song since eighth grade, and its cathartic power has not weakened in twenty-odd years. To me, this is dark bottle green or hunter green.
14. Roll It Gal by Alison Hinds. Picture, if you will, a creepy, sullen, stick-thin, deathly pale girl in a black jacket, gray jeans, and black leather ankle boots haphazardly striped with an excess of steel zippers, skulking down the sidewalk of a picturesque, historic Southern college campus, death-glaring straight ahead as if oblivious to everyone around her… while listening to this song on her headphones. This was me in 2011. This song is bright teal-green.
13. Go Crazy by Megan Thee Stallion (ft. Big Sean and 2 Chainz). “Why I gotta prove myself to bitches that I’m better than?” That’s a rhetorical question, of course. Megan certainly does not. This song is red, a bright purplish red.
12. Back Up by Dej Loaf (coincidentally, also ft. Big Sean). “I’m very antisocial, social network ain’t my motion.” Right?! This is another one that I’d blast in my car on the way home from a shitty day at work, after a client or coworker had pissed me off. Definitely dark teal-blue.
11. See The Light by Ghost. As you know if you frequent this blog, I have mixed feelings about this band. I used to be a superfan, but now avoid them as a rule, because they’re extremely blasphemous, which is unfortunate, because Tobias is such a good songwriter and performer, and some of their songs sound really good and are extremely satisfying when you’re in a certain mood. Lyrically this one is pretty vague, so I think one can still listen to it in good conscience, although it’s questionable. Its color is dark gold to me.
10. Disaster in a Halo by Ours. Of all the songs on this list, this one’s been with me the longest. The album Precious came out in 2002, and that’s when I got into it. As serious and sad as this song is, I have one memory of it that still makes me lol every time: at some point during my early teen years, I was watching a recording of a live performance of this song on the TV in my family’s living room, absolutely rapt because it was like some special footage that had just come out on DVD or something (this was before YouTube); and in the middle of it, my dad walks through the room, pauses, listens for a moment, and then goes: “huh! I guess nothing matters to that guy.” His sarcasm is so dry it still sometimes goes over my head, and he’s been my dad for 36 years. Anyway, this song is a combination of light ochre brown and grayish sky blue.
9. Say So by Migos. I used to crank this one when I was at odds with anyone in my life. “I know a real bitch, she say that it’s a fake world/ And she don’t surround herself by none of you fake girls.” Also I love that they describe cellulite as “sexy” in this song; thank you for that. Sometimes, this one could get me through a “fat” moment or day. This song is dark red to me, like burgundy or a dark brick red.
8. The Flute Song by Russ. “People are shady as fuck, I keep to myself, but I feel the energy though” — that always made me feel better about being the resident creepy weirdo wherever I went, about not having any friends; as if being socially inept were badass. It still works for me tbh. This one is a dark cerulean blue.
7. The Worst Things Beautiful by Ours. This song was kind of a literal Godsend for me. I first heard it on the car radio as I was driving home from the aforementioned ED group therapy one evening. I still remember exactly where I was. And listening to it, I was like: “isn’t that Jimmy?!” because at this point I’d been a serious fan of his for about seven years (which doesn’t seem that long at all to me now, but at that point it was over a third of my life), and I’d known he’d been working on a new album but had no idea when it would be out. And then this song just randomly came on the radio. It sounded so different from his older stuff, a whole new perspective from him; but just as good; the lyrics spoke to me very much at the time. Like most of his songs, this one is also in shades of golden-brown and blue.
6. Poem by Taproot. I was listening to this one when I was a tortured angsty seventh grader, and still love it just the same. Why doesn’t mainstream rock sound this good anymore? This is like the most validating song for when you feel like shit. It’s angry but also reassuring. For some reason it’s purple to me, kind of an eggplant purple; I think because it was track six on the first mix CD I ever made for myself, and the number six is indisputably purple (perhaps this is subconsciously why I ended up putting it at #6 on this list).
5. Überlin by REM. There’s been times when all I could do was lie there listening to this song on repeat. I swear, it has the most comforting chorus ever written for secular pop music. “I will make it through the day and then the day becomes the night/ I will make it through the night.” Sometimes I still play this song, or hum it to myself, or even just think about it when I need to remember that this too shall pass. This song for me is orange.
4. IDFWU by Big Sean (ft. E-40). Ok but why is Big Sean on this list three times?! I guess he just has that kind of attitude. This is THE song for when someone’s behavior is getting under your skin. It’s very yellow to me.
3. Due by MSI. (I used to be so into this band! Listening to them now gives me violent flashbacks to college – like, I can freaking smell the place, wow.) According to YouTube comments, I’m far from the only one who has a certain reaction to this song: it hits just right when you’re miserable, it strikes just the right nerve. Like #2 and #1, it expresses frustration so purely and precisely. Like if you want to kick someone, just listen to this song instead. It’s a lot of dark blues and bright greens in this one.
2. Superman’s Dead by Our Lady Peace. Something about Raine Maida’s songwriting and singing cuts me all the way to the bone, idk what it is. There’s this urgency to what he’s singing. And sincerity. And just the way it opens – “do you worry that you’re not liked/ how long till you break” I mean, dang, ok. Is it just me, or do you also feel very seen and understood by this song? I can listen to it endlessly. I put this in spot #2 but it’s really a tie for #1. Like many of their songs, this one is intensely blue to me.
1. Cirice by Ghost. I’ve talked in a different Top 10 list already about how much I love this song and how it helped me survive a rough patch. So I won’t go on and on now. Similar to #2, this song makes you feel like he’s seeing into your soul and validating everything there that you hide from the world. Dark red, for this one, I mean obviously – you probably don’t even have to experience synesthesia yourself to know that this one sounds blood red.
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