It’s been a minute since I did one of these! If you’re a regular here, you may remember Season One and Season Two (and/or the Infinite Jest spinoff). Now that time has passed and I’ve watched a few more TV shows, it’s time for Season Three.

Presenting our competitors:

12. Aaron Corval from Run Away. Unfortunately, Aaron does not remain on the show, but suddenly, mysteriously disappears from the set halfway through the second challenge, leaving his station a mess the likes of which has never before been seen on this show; how did he even do that? He also somehow managed to steal an expensive stand mixer and quite a few bottles of imported vanilla beans. Automatic disqualification– although, he probably wouldn’t have made it very far had he remained, as his first cake was a sloppy disaster, like he didn’t even follow a recipe.

11. JJ Maybank from Outer Banks. Although he’s a fan favorite, a good team player, and gets along swimmingly with Chance, who’s his same age, and although the whole South was cheering for him when he represented with flavors like banana pudding, peach-bourbon, and sweet potato, JJ predictably lacks the finesse and the elegance to really last in a competition like this.

10. Karen Calhoun from The Watcher. After winning the first challenge this week on sheer luck, as an advantage Karen got to assign the flavors for the second challenge. She thought she was setting herself up for victory by selecting champagne (a flavor she knows quite well), but as anyone who watches these shows will know, champagne is a tough flavor to work with. Barely a ghost of a taste of champagne, in that beautiful cake. You could even say this decision came back to haunt her. She’ll miss hanging around Nile Jarvis, whose attention she was embarrassingly desperate for this whole time.

9. Danny Cho from Beef. The judges appreciated his bold, Asian-inspired flavor choices, but cameras caught him sabotaging the other contestant’s desserts as they chilled in the deep freezer. Danny denies it fervently, but it seems like his rhythm is thrown off after that, and in the second challenge he managed to burn his cake to an inedible crisp.

8. Chance from Castle Rock. Chance isn’t even sure how she got here. She doesn’t really do a lot of baking (not the domestic type), and her bakes are all very low-effort, but, all these other contestants somehow got kicked off before she did. She had fun partying with JJ but ever since his elimination she’s just been waiting to get sent home, and honestly seems annoyed that it’s taken this long.

7. Josephine “Carrie” Murphy from All Her Fault. Josie could have won the whole thing. Her synesthesia makes her bakes really interesting conceptually, and her flavor combinations are always thoughtful and unexpected, like when challenged to create a three-tier cake, she made an ethereal kiwi-lime masterpiece filled with cucumber-mint mousse, because the number three is green; and when asked to create a lattice-topped pie, she filled it with caramelized banana and honeyed pecans because the word “lattice” tastes like breakfast cereal. She’s very driven, too, and a fierce competitor, but unfortunately, when the bottom three were her, Nile, and Cal, somehow the rich guys came out on top. It’s always like that, isn’t it.

6. Nile Jarvis from The Beast In Me. A natural predator, he doesn’t even need the prize money but is simply in this competition because he wants to be the best. The judges and the viewers at home all fall for his charming personality, but alas, when he gets into a pinch towards the end of tonight’s second challenge, he loses his temper and ends up smashing his whole red velvet cake to a gory mess with a rolling pin, leaving it in a heap on his station and then pathetically trying to blame it on Misty, who just shrugs him off, unfazed. There’s really no coming back from that.

5. Cal Bradford from Paradise. How could you not cheer for him? The quintessential Golden Retriever. Everyone loves his classic, rich, all-American flavors — chocolate chip cookie, apple pie, buttered popcorn — simple and clumsy as they may be at times. He’s also a great team player, and really shines in the team challenges. Tragically, his self-sacrificial nature is also his downfall, and he finally got eliminated because he spent the last thirty minutes helping Manousos and Sadie finish their pastries instead of working on his own.

4. Barry from Barry. With his eye for precision and his unshakable stoicism in high-stress situations, he’s actually a really good baker. He especially shines in highly technical challenges where other contestants get overwhelmed. But he’s not great at decorating, and the judges have consistently found his desserts just a little…well, boring. Viewers are glad to see him go; people online all agree that there’s something creepy about him.

And now, our three finalists:

3. Sadie Dunhill from 11/22/63. She’s a phenomenal baker with a retro flair that the judges love; she bakes a mean pound cake, and is a master of gelatin. She’s probably actually the best baker here, and tbh should have won, if it were only about baking skills, which, come on, we all know that’s not the only thing being judged, on these shows.

2. Misty Quigley from Yellowjackets. Misty is not only an extremely good baker, but also ruthless and insane, which works to her advantage in a competition like this. She may or may not have cheated several times to get here — tampering with Chance’s ingredients one, cranking up the temperature on Josie’s oven, et cetera — but no one can quite prove it. Her fellow competitors all hate her, at this point, and I think the judges are kind of afraid of her. Misty seems virtually undefeatable, but even she, with all her cunning powers and unscrupulous ways, comes in second to:

1. Manousos Oviedo from Pluribus, our grand champion! This guy just cannot be stopped. Coming from such a humble background, his determination to defeat the powers that be in this Baking Championship has been unrivalled. No technical difficulty, no stroke of bad luck, no malicious meddling from a competitor, has been enough to slow him down. Not only that, but the judges have loved his use of Paraguayan flavors, such as dulce de leche, papaya, and creamy custards. What is he going to do with the prize money?: go sit alone in his house and not talk to anyone ever again.

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Was it fair? Did the best man win? Which tv characters should compete next?