CAUTION: CONTAINS SPOILERS for Ultimate Baking Championship!!

“You can’t even stop Duff. Nine cake and he’s still at it.” – Amaury, watching Duff merrily chowing down during the judging of Oralia’s entremets

“He’s absolutely right, but, that’s the blue I gave him.” – Adalberto, with resignation, after hearing that the dark blue exterior of his dessert was unappetizing and off-putting

“I would like to not be the next one.” – Chris, immediately before getting called to go next after Florencia’s flawless reception in the second challenge

Week two. As tonight’s episode was starting, my husband observed: they’re eliminating contestants so fast, “tonight might be the finale!” Lol. Thankfully, it wasn’t.

Here we go! Caviar and calamansi, deconstructed this and modernized that. 🥱 I’ll take Molly’s simple, classic little red velvet cake, which received such negative criticism, over most of these bougie little frou-frou dishes, any day of the week! No offense to any of the chefs, of course – these people are all incredible to watch, truly next-level geniuses – but, I’m a simple person with simple tastes, and I’m still miffed that they took away my good old Spring Baking Championship this year. (Speaking of, that’s where I recognize Robert from!)

So, they have a clean slate each week? The leaderboard gets erased and starts over from scratch. What do we think about this, friends? I have mixed feelings. I kind of like it, but also, I think it’d be neat to do just one season where the scores were cumulative, building on progress from all of the prior challenges. In a way, that’d seem more fair, wouldn’t it? Everyone has bad luck at some point, and it seems like that shouldn’t be someone’s downfall if it’s a random one-off, and if they’ve been consistently really good.

However, I am happy that this format is giving Adalberto a fresh start… again. Yup, I hate to say it, because it probably means next week will be his last, but: he’s kinda become my favorite. I just really felt for him, when he was despondent after his disastrous second challenge, and was saying that, as an older contestant, he doesn’t have the time, like some of these younger contestants, to get better; this is it, for him. The end of the line. Adalberto! Come on! This is supposed to be my escapism! Baking Championship starting to get a little eschatological up in here. A little too real. I adore Adalberto, and I’m glad he pulled through by the skin of his teeth once again. After this week and the last, I seriously want to see him power through and rise to the top and win the whole thing! Wouldn’t that be so freaking satisfying?!

I am bummed for Oralia, though. At least she went out on a positive note: Amaury and Duff both genuinely enjoyed her dessert — it was just the presentation that was off. I hope she keeps in mind that, even though she technically went home in week two, she actually outlasted six other contestants, so she made it quite far; we mustn’t forget the absolute carnage that was week one.

Highlights this week included: watching Clement convert fellow Frenchman Amaury Guichon to a veggies-in-dessert appreciater; watching Rochelle “die and go to heaven” after receiving such glowing praises for her stunning raspberry entremets; Robert voluntarily choosing to work with matcha, when he could have chosen literally any other, less disgusting nutty flavor, and somehow nailing it (?!?!); Casey’s impressive comeback with a stunning geometric mousse cake in the second challenge after her first challenge was pretty weak (chocolate too dense); and, listening to Amaury pronounce “BAH-na-na” and “prah-LEE-na.” Delightful. Here’s the recap:

Skills Challenge: modernize a classic dessert; randomly assigned

• Robert: peach cobbler Paris-brest w/ caviar pearls & popping chocolate
• Florencia: lava cake w/ raspberry center
• Oralia: Italian rainbow cookie w/ almond sponge, Bavarian crème, vanilla chantilly
• Molly: red velvet cake
• Clement: carrot cake (cubed w/ cream cheese mousse, caramelized walnuts, & carrot juice caviar)
• Chris: bananas foster w/ caramel poached bananas, toasted macadamias, & whipped crème fraiche
• Juan: pecan pie w/ sablés, praline, & whipped mousse
• Rochelle: key lime pie w/ astronaut ice cream & toasted meringue
• Adalberto: strawberry shortcake: canapé w/ basil, strawberry crunch, white chocolate mousse
• Casey: s’mores molded namelaka, honey graham cracker, toasted marshmallow

Challenge Winner: Juan (18/20), followed by Clement (16/20) and Robert (14/20): these three are the ones to watch, imo

Master Challenge: geometric layered mousse cake; themes randomly assigned

• Casey: “Smokey & mysterious:” chocolate mousse, cherry compote, smoked caramel
• Rochelle: “Ombre & light:” raspberry, quinoa crunch, white chocolate mousse w/ raspberry-styled exterior
• Chris: “Floral & delicate:” elderflower, apricot, pistachio, financier
• Oralia: “Botanical & boozy:” raspberry-rose mousse, feulletine, elderflower
• Juan: “Earthy & elegant:” Roasted malted mousse, almond cake, tempered chocolate exterior
• Clement: “Bright & citrusy:” lemon-poppyseed, yuzu, white chocolate crunch, mousse-filled “lemon” décor
• Molly: “Citrus & celestial”: calamansi curd, lime, blood orange “citrus salad”, olive oil cake, chocolate planets
• Robert: “Earthy & nutty:” matcha, black sesame, blackberries
• Adalberto: “Boozy & tropical:” blueberry mojito gelee, mango mousse
• Florencia: “Dark & indulgent” brownie, gianduja mousse, caramel truffle

STATS:

Winner: Juan (28/30)

Sent Home: Oralia

A dessert is called “sexy”: 1 time (running total: 3)

Superlatives from the judges: 0 (running total 1)

Dead family members mentioned: 0 (running total 1)

Duff’s gaping maw spotted: 2 times (running total 4)

The dessert that I would most have liked to eat: Florencia’s “dark and indulgent” chocolate brownie entremets with gianduja mousse, caramel truffle, & milk chocolate. The chocolatiest!

Wins so far: Juan (1), Molly (1)

What did we think? Are you watching this too? What are your thoughts? Leave me your comments! I don’t care if you’re reading this three-plus years from now and the show is old news and you think I no longer care. I still do, I assure you. See you back here next week!