CAUTION: SPOILERS for this episode of HBC!

“You’re seeing none of this.” – Nico to the camera as he wrestled with handfuls of sticky, stretchy, over-gelatinized marshmallow

“Oh my God, this is so cringey.” – Charles, head in his hands, observing the judging of said over-gelatinized marshmallow

I was really looking forward to this week, but I feel pretty let down. Anyone else?

This is the first time this season that I’ve really felt a judging call was bad and wrong. Charles should have won the stupid Chance Heat. I am 100% sure that this was an instance of the creators skewing the judging in order to create more drama for TV; they just really wanted to actually utilize this stupid little “Chance Heat” concept they’d come up with, to let one contestant sail through to the final. They didn’t want to let that whole idea just go to waste (even though it should have; stop messing with the structure, already, FFS!). Especially because Ashleigh’s the last female left standing and all; it certainly makes for good TV.

But come on. Charles’s cranberry-whipped cream panna cottas were, the judges even said, “perfect.” They gushed on and on about those panna cottas. And Ashleigh’s pineapple cheesecake — it was “good,” and earned positive but sedate critiques; but then it went on to win?! Ashleigh is obviously extremely good, I’m a big fan, no hate of any kind to her; but as a viewer, her win in this challenge seemed to come out of nowhere. I am completely convinced that they just wanted to keep up this little narrative they’ve got going of “Charles is always the bridesmaid,” as well as the little saga of Ashleigh’s “redemption” after last week, because it was such an emotional thing. Very illogical, very stupid.

I know, it’s probably silly for little old me to assert with such confidence that I “know” a judging call on a baking competition show was bad. I’m just sitting at home watching TV in my bathrobe, what do I know? I wasn’t there irl to hear the full, uncut critiques, nor did I actually taste the two cakes. And, I guess that’s a fair criticism of me. Maybe I’m just finally getting jaded about baking shows.

Another thing that sucked this week: watching poor little Nico become genuinely stressed and unhappy. I don’t think we’ve seen him get so truly tense, upset, and joyless like this, up until this week. During the Main Heat bake we heard a fellow contestant check in on him, asking if he was okay, and he just goes: “No.” Ugh, it was such a downer. I felt so bad for him: first that marshmallow disaster, and then getting stuck with an ingredient that he straight up hates for the Main Heat challenge. Always, on these shows, whenever a contestant is forced to bake with an ingredient that they hate, it never goes well (just look at poor Tarek with gelatin in this week’s Chance Heat! The flavors sounded delightful, but what a technical disaster!). And then, the judges’ critique of Nico’s dessert was so stupid! The pudding flavor got lost beneath the hazelnut?! Yeah, I should hope so! What, did you want Nico to just let his cake taste like grainy artificial chocolate, to really let that pudding mix “shine”?! Would they have been happier if he’d made a shitty-tasting dessert? Stupid, stupid, stupid. Majorly disappointed.

And poor Jean Carlos. I don’t think his elimination was undeserved, but it was still sad to watch. When he said that his coconut cake was dedicated to his mom, and started talking about how he wanted to win for his mom, my husband was like: “he’s doomed.” And he kept saying this week how badly he wanted to win, to be the first Brazilian winner. He seemed like such a sweet, kind soul, the kind of positive, resilient person who refuses to blame others or be a victim of their difficult past. The way he reacted when his name was called at the end, just hanging his head for a moment, was almost too sad for me.

So what were some good things this week? I’ll try and name a few:

– It’s nice to have the “team” business over with. Every baker for himself, as it should be.

– I missed Duff, but Stephanie was a good guest judge. She was eloquent, funny, and positive, but also kept it very real.

– Nancy’s necklace this week was fabulous. The retro looks for the judges were all cute, but I couldn’t stop ogling that oversized string of pink pearls. I’m not much of a jewelry wearer anymore, now that I have kids, but I’ve always kinda loved big chunky beads like this.

– The Charles/Ashleigh rivalry is going strong, obviously. It was a highlight this week. Even though I’m disappointed with how things played out, it is certainly thrilling to witness the tension between these two, as well as Chase. No offense to Tarek, Nico, or Jean Carlos, but it’s pretty evident by now that those three are in a league of their own.

– Little Tarek did a beautiful job in the Main Heat. That white cake with spiced peach filling was gorgeous inside and out; I loved the sort of minimalist, elegant Christmas trees and holly on his all-white cake. And he was so humble about it, too – you could see at the end that he sincerely could not believe he had beaten Charles. Kardea was right, that he was really showing here that he deserves to be in the final. I kinda feel like Tarek’s been hit-and-miss for most of the competition, and at times I’ve wondered “how is he still here?”, but apparently, when he’s at his best, he’s really, really good.

– Speaking of Kardea, I feel like she really stepped up in Duff’s absence. Her critiques this week seemed more authoritative – like she took it upon herself to be a little more, well, “judgy,” to perhaps compensate for smartass Duff not being there – but without sacrificing any of her characteristic sweetness and warmth. She still managed to be just as compassionate as ever, even while taking on a bit more of a boss role. Did you notice this subtle difference as well? I’m a huge fan of hers, so I loved to see it.

But, I’m still confused. They have five finalists? How are they going to do next week? Are they going to do another three-challenge format and eliminate a baker after each of the two first challenges? That’s my prediction. I’ve never seen them go into a final challenge with more than three bakers. But this season’s been such a hot mess, format-wise, that I guess anything could happen. Let me know your thoughts.

Superlatives from the judges: 3: Kardea to Jean Carlos, Nancy to Ashleigh, and Kardea to Charles (running total: 8)

Judge says “remember, you’re on Holiday Baking Championship”: 0 (running total: still only 1?!)

Nancy says “bite of food”: 1 (running total: 1-½)

High point: “That’s the sound of Christmas,” Charles snarled irritably at the cameras as he drummed and rattled the molds of his white chocolate hemispheres against the steel countertop, trying to get the things to come out. Best lol I’ve had this week.

Low point: Bad call from the judges about the Chance Heat. I demand justice for Charles.

The dessert that I would most have liked to eat: Ashleigh’s German Chocolate cake with salted ganache. No notes, as guest judge Stephanie commented; it looked like a flawless cake, and embodied pretty much everything anyone could ever want in a cake.