CAUTION: SPOILERS for this episode of HBC!

“Work, work, okay.” – Nico, upon hearing that the assignment was rugelach and sufganiyot

“My cookies represent death, and that is the Christmas spirit.” – Charles, about his bloody-looking cookies

“…right now, we mad kumbaya.” – Nico, reflecting on the Naughty Team’s improvement as a team

“My favorite day to murder someone is Christmas.” – Charles, again with the cookies

But wait. You guys, what is going on with this show right now?!

This was episode six, and next week is the semifinal: what? So we’re going into the semifinal with six contestants, which means we’re going into the final with five? Traditionally they have three finalists, although in recent years I’ve seen them mix it up and go into the final with four, and then eliminate one after the first challenge. But so wait, does this mean they’re going to eliminate two people next week and two the week after? Or what? How are they going to do this?

This past spring, they split the finale into two separate episodes, but I don’t foresee them doing that with HBC, because that would push the final episode out to December 29, after Christmas Day, and we all know that in the secular world Christmas stops abruptly at the stroke of midnight on December 26^th – so there’s no way they’ll let this show continue past Christmas Day. So, what will they do? What is going on here?

And did I hear that right, that we’re getting three challenges next week?! Okay! I know I said last week that, if there were only one challenge this week, I was going to shit a brick. But, since the challenge this week consisted of three separate elements, I was actually okay with it; it really felt like three challenges in one. But so next week there will actually be three challenges. I can’t wait, I am stoked, but also, WTH? Why are they changing up the format so much? Does anyone have any insight? I need answers!

And also, I’m completely floored that Alyx got sent home. HOW? She was one of the best. I thought she’d be in the final. And with the naughty New Orleans themed dessert platter idea – brilliant! It should have been incredible.

And Ashleigh in the bottom two, as well?! My two superheroes! What happened?

I’m not saying they didn’t deserve it, because they both did seem relatively weak this week. (I had no idea which one of the two was going to go home; Ashleigh had three mediocre desserts, whereas Alyx had one great one, one mediocre, and one really bad; how were the judges supposed to make that call?!) These two being in the bottom, and Alyx going home – dang. This is such a 180 from the way things have been going. I’m shook. Speaking of shook, I wonder if having to switch teams in the middle of the action threw off Alyx’s vibe, or something.

I also think this week’s challenge was particularly ridiculous. What were they thinking? I know these championships are infamous for assigning stupidly hard challenges in a laughably short time; that’s nothing new. But this episode? This was next level. Three desserts, including a yeasted doughnut and a pastry, in the span of two and a half hours? That’s just dumb. At this point, it’s borderline just a joke; we may as well be watching Nailed It!. (Which, when is that show coming back, btw?) No wonder even the likes of Charles, Alyx, and Ashleigh were stumbling.

Speaking of Charles. He’s also kind of done a 180, right? Not talking about his baking skills – he’s still the best baker, for sure, and the guaranteed winner. No, I’m talking about him as a character. He’s so much nicer and warmer and more friendly now than he was in the early episodes, isn’t he? I mean, yes, he’s still sassy and arrogant and, as Jesse pointed out, “The Naughtiest” on the Naughty Team (LOL), but, like, in a playful and friendly way now. Is it just me?

I’m thinking that this metamorphosis was probably the way the creators edited the show; probably, they intentionally edited the scenes to make him appear more of an asshole early on, in order to create this compelling little character arc of him thawing out over time. (Did any of y’all ever watch Zumbo’s Just Desserts? Do you remember Daniel from that show? He was depicted as like the biggest asshole ever in baking show history, not dissimilar to the way Charles was presented in the early episodes of this season; but he’s said in interviews that he was actually perfectly cool with his fellow contestants, and that was just the way the show decided to present him, kinda cherry-picking which bits of his dialogue they aired, to amp up the drama. I feel like maybe HBC did the same with Charles.) Or maybe it’s real; I like to think it is. Well, real or not, it’s working for me. I’m all the way invested.

Needless to say, Chase was amazing this episode. I can’t believe he out-rugelach’ed Nico. Nico couldn’t believe it either! What a bummer, that his were charred on the bottom! I think that was his downfall. I was really hoping Nico would win the whole episode, and clearly he was too. His face when they called Chase’s name – he did not feel great about being in second place! But, at least Nico came in first on his team. And that gorgeous pumpkin pie sufganiyot he made – that might have been the best dessert this episode. Duff, who, like Nico, is Jewish and a sufganiyot connoisseur, was raving about it; it was like he forgot he was a judge, for a second, and was just enjoying the thing. That was so meaningful for Nico, you could tell. He was in his element this episode, and it was fun to watch.

Also of note this week: Jean-Carlos can not only juggle, but can manage to make orange and coffee taste good together? What? When he said he was making an orange and coffee sugar cookie, I was like: excuse me? That sounds vile! Is he insane? But, the judges gave it a solid A. Color me impressed. And, the only contestant I haven’t mentioned yet in this post: Tarek. Did you see the little clip of him from when he was on Kids Baking Championship? With the little high-pitched voice?! Hilariously cute to see the juxtaposition; reminded me of all the Stranger Things memes going around right now, showing the drastic change in the characters from season one to season five. Also, if only Tarek had had time to decorate that chocolate-cherry shortbread cookie properly, that would have been incredible! What a whirlwind.

Readers, what is going on here? What are your thoughts? Leave me your comments!

Superlatives from the judges: 1, Nancy to Nico: “Best doughnut on the table” (running total: 5)

Judge says “remember, you’re on Holiday Baking Championship”: 0 (running total: 1)

Nancy says “bite of food”: 0 (running total: ½)

High point: Nico doing the little devil horn fingers pose when Jesse said “naughty team.” He’s so cute it makes me want to punch a wall.

Low point: It was pretty painful to see Alyx searching desperately for a food processor and not finding one because they were all in use. She tried to make do with a blender, for her praline filling, but the thing overheated and didn’t work, and I wonder if that had something to do with why her sufganiyot didn’t work out. I was so frustrated for her because I too have tried and failed to subsitute a blender for a food processor before. And because, as a fierce individualist and a hater by nature, it’s always driven me absolutely bonkers when other people (even if they’re just innocently going about their business in my general vicinity) somehow hold me back from accomplishing something I set out to do. Like, if only they hadn’t been there! So I was really upset for Alyx at this moment.

The dessert that I would most have liked to eat: Got to be Charles’s fig and poppyseed rugelach. Fig and poppyseed are two flavors that are especially near and dear to my little heart, so I was thrilled to see my favorite utilizing both of them in a single dessert. Beautiful! Especially with lemon – that all sounded amazing. However, Duff said that there was “no sugar” in them and that they tasted more savory than sweet. Womp womp. With fig, do you really need extra sugar, though? Hmm. I’d still try one, in any case (Duff suggested dipping in fondue cheese!).