As I write this, it’s almost Lent, and so I am getting ready to fast from social media (among other things). And tbh I’m thinking about using it less in general; about becoming more of a “luddite” all around.

My parish priest gave an excellent sermon this past Sexagesima Sunday about, basically, staying the heck off the internet at all costs; it is full, he said, of the spirit of the world. I was admittedly pretty shook, because Instagram is pretty much my biggest guilty pleasure these days. I do more mindless scrolling there than I’m proud of. I am too old for TikTok and too young for Facebook, so those don’t really interest me at all; but Instagram and I, we have a real love-hate relationship. So I’ll be working on cutting back on that, in the coming weeks.

But, before I go, I wanted to formally recognize and express my hearfelt thanks to some of the best accounts on that app: the ones that make me go “yes, this, this is why they made the internet, this is what I come here for!”

Specifically, these are the best non-Catholic content creators. I decided to limit this list to accounts other than Catholic ones, since I follow a ton of great Catholic accounts and could make a whole separate list of the best Catholic and pro-life Instagrammers. But I wanted this particular list to be simply fun and non-political and appeal to a wider audience.

I don’t like to link to social media from this blog, but you should really go check these out for yourself:

13. @insanefbmarketplace. This one gets a little PG13 at times, but is freaking hilarious. It’s just a collection of screenshots of some of the weirdest things listed for sale on Facebook Marketplace. One of the best ones I’ve seen recently was a framed, handmade mosaic, of beautiful blue- and teal-colored glass chips, spelling out the word “Cock,” listed for $70 with no explanation or apology whatsoever.

12. @sincellectuals2. Infinite Jest humor. DFW stans, this is a place for us to laugh at ourselves. The creator is really smart and well-read, and I occasionally learn something new in between the hilarious shitposts.

11. @wanderandthrive. My favorite genre of internet is tradwife satire, and this is the best tradwife/“crunchy mom” satire account I’ve found yet. Her posts about homeschooling/dictating her fourteen kids, remaining skinny and hot for her husband by ingesting parasites, and healing any ailment, no matter how severe, with her hand-harvested organic yak colostrum, are all just shamelessly unhinged.

10. @itsthemcfarlands. You’re probably familiar; their fame is well-deserved. They do humorous little videos about middle class suburban white family life. The dad in this family is a comedic genius, and the absolute star of all of their videos.

9. @depthsofwikipedia. All of the weirdest, funniest, and most delightful tidbits from the darkest corners of everyone’s favorite public encyclopedia, hand-selected and curated for our reading pleasure.

8. @josh.dad.gillett. Hands down the best parenting account I’ve stumbled upon. It’s rare, and such a relief, to find an account about parenting little kids that is neither preachy nor controversial in the slightest. His posts are super relatable and all in fun, and even the comments sections are purely fun and nice. He’s so likeable and funny, and his family is adorable – plus, they’re getting ready to welcome triplets soon! I can’t wait, the content is going to be gold.

7. @elias_filmz. This guy literally just posts videos of himself cooking and eating with his pet cow. Like, the cow is right there in the kitchen with him, destroying everything and making a huge mess. It never fails to make me laugh.

6. @grippingfoodwithforce. Haven’t you ever held an item of food, like a cupcake or a burger, and been inexplicably tempted to just squeeze the shit out of it? Then this account is for you! It’s so satisfying. The comment sections usually feature a bunch of grip experts “rating” and “critiquing” the grips, but personally, I enjoy all of them.

5. @yousuckatcooking. This is a collection of convincing prank videos about cooking: like, for example, “new fruit just dropped, it’s a bananaloupe” with a very realistic reel of a banana being unpeeled to reveal a banana-shaped piece of cantaloupe flesh. It kind of makes you raise your eyebrows until you realize it’s a clever joke.

4. @historyeats. This account belongs to a food historian and published author from England, and she posts the most interesting, delightful, unexpected, and beautiful content related to food history! Almost every single post of hers, I end up saving to my favorites. I especially love when she posts still life paintings that I’ve never seen before; her taste is impeccable, her knowledge is endless, and her captions have such a warm and friendly tone. I admire her so much.

3. @rappinchef. Sheer genius! As his name implies, this guy is not only a skilled chef, but also a rapper/singer, and he writes his own raps (to the beat of existing popular songs) narrating recipes, which he demonstrates as he raps the instructions. They always look delicious. Tbh I am baffled by how multi-talented and funny and unbelievably freaking cool this guy is. He deserves an award.

2. @lostappalachian. As someone who hails from the southeastern/mountainous region of the US, this account beautifully depicts a piece of my heart and soul. The photographer is one of the best I’ve ever seen. She posts photos and stories of abandoned places in Appalachia, which are at once haunting and inspiring. If you’re not on IG already, it’s worth joining just to follow her.

And finally, my personal favorite account on this accursed app:

1. @thesensoryclubb. Parents of babies will get it. This creator takes the animated footage from the popular YouTube channel “Hey Bear Baby Sensory” (which posts high-contrast videos for babies, featuring a cast of adorable dancing fruits and vegetables), replacing the original generic dance music with popular rap and hip-hop songs. Like, picture smiling blueberries bouncing around to Kendrick Lamar’s “HUMBLE,” or a row of little happy green peas bopping and swaying to “Stir Fry” by Migos. I really wish they posted more frequently, because this is honestly the type of content that the internet was invented for, IMO.