Caution: spoilers

Here I am again, late to the party on a movie that came out in 2022. I am always slow to see new movies.

But I’d been curious about this one for quite some time. I mean, the meme was one of the best of the last several years. Plus, as you may know, I’m unironically a huge fan of Nic Cage, solely because he starred in my personal favorite movie of all time, The Wicker Man (2006) (yes, I unironically love this movie; I have always thought it was creepy and beautiful and captivating, and better than the original (yeah I said it), and have always had a girl-crush on Kate Beahan’s character; this is one of very few movies that I can and do watch over and over again, which, as you can imagine, just delights my husband).

But so I didn’t really know what I was expecting, when we started watching Unbearable Weight. I knew it was, like, meta, with Nic Cage playing himself, or something. Whatever; I will watch pretty much anything he’s in (the only movie of his that really disappointed me was The Pig (2021) – grim, boring, depressing, no redeeming qualities IMO; weirdly, I’ve heard that this is Nic Cage’s personal favorite of his movies?!).

So I had zero expectations, and ended up very pleasantly surprised!

For one, the humor. I have a pretty weird, gen-Z type sense of humor (caused, probably, by overexposure to internet memes and shitposting), so I typically don’t find movies funny, especially not comedies. But this one was genuinely hilarious. The part where Pedro Pascal’s character, high on LSD, turns and laughs at the two men who are, supposedly, “watching them” — you just know they were having so much fun filming that. And just in general, you have to respect Nic Cage for making so much fun of himself in this movie. It was honestly such a brilliant career move, on his part; really the smartest thing he could have done, as an actor, at this point.

For two, the story writing. I am always so in awe of a really smart, intricate, perfectly-assembled plotline, in which all the pieces are parts of a well-oiled machine. When no moment, no word of dialogue, is wasted, and things keep hearkening back to other things. I’m especially awed by mysterious and suspenseful or exciting stories; how do writers do that?! Like, the way the random monologue he recites at the beginning makes another appearance at the end, where it fits perfectly. And the way the movie that the two main characters are writing ends up coming true, and then becoming a movie again. It was just so freaking clever.

But the best thing about this movie was not the humor, nor the story writing, but: the friendship.

It really is, essentially, a Platonic love story. How often do you see those, in movies and shows? Especially about straight men? Almost never, right? I can’t think of any others, and I’ve been thinking for several days. I guess there was Napoleon Dynamite (2004); but I wouldn’t call that a Platonic love story, even though the friendship with Pedro was one of the biggest story elements; that was more of a self-discovery story. Can you think of any other movies that glorify male friendship, or, you might even say non-romantic soul mates, like this one does?

If only there were more shows, movies, and songs about best friendship rather than romance! I feel like our culture would be so much healthier. Speaking as someone who is admittedly obsessed with drama, romance, and sexual tension in stories, I really think we as a society are way too obsessed with such things. An alien observing our pop culture would probably think that sex and romance are all humans care about, the whole purpose of our existence. I remember being a little kid of perhaps seven, asking my Dad “why is it that every song on the radio is about someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend?”, and he was like: “You’ll understand when you’re older. 😊” And yeah, I do now, but also, I don’t. We should celebrate and glorify best friendship more.

.

Friendship is such a fascinating thing to me, as someone with AvPD who doesn’t really have friends. I haven’t had a “best friend” of the Nic Cage/Pedro Pascal, Saweetie/Doja Cat variety since I was, probably like 14. I have some excellent friends with whom I correspond online, and I love them dearly, and those friendships are really all I need, in the way of a social life. But that type of close, intimate friendship where you do stuff like: share clothes, call on the phone whenever, get in an argument and then make up, talk about gross personal stuff, and call each other “bitch” for fun? I can only fantasize! That level of intimacy is so crazy, so terrifying.

It’s scarier than a romantic relationship, IMO, because in a romantic relationship, there’s sort of a transactional element. The other person wants something from you, and you know what that is: affection, attention, sex; or, if you’re going about things the proper way, marriage. There are pretty clear expectations, usually, when it comes to romance. Whereas, with Platonic friends, it’s like… you want what from me? My company? Lol, why??! What could you possibly get out of that?! This is probably why, throughout my late teens and twenties, I had quite a few boyfriends, but almost zero girl friends (and of those few, none of them were what I’d call “close”).

Friendship is so cool, because, in theory, a friend literally just likes you for who you are, and doesn’t want anything from you except to just be around you. That’s kind of wild to me. What’s even more wild is that, to lots of people out there, this kind of relationship apparently comes naturally! They don’t even need to think about it! 🤯

Female best friendship is pretty well represented in the media, even if it’s usually portrayed only alongside a romantic relationship, like a background thing. But straight male friendship? An intimate and loving but completely non-sexual relationship between two grown men? I feel like you just don’t see it that much, in the mainstream media; am I wrong?

It’s such a cool thing, and honestly a sign of a really healthy and secure man IMO, for him to have close male friends. This is one thing I’ve always found really attractive, and fascinating, about my husband: as a grown-ass man, now in his late thirties, he still has best friends that he hangs out with, for no reason, just for fun. They will seriously just go to each other’s houses, with no specific plans, and, do what? Hang out? Talk?? I don’t know! To me that is wild! They even go out to eat together and stuff, and, like, text each other for support when they’re having a hard time. To my AvPD-having ass, that kind of stuff is just unfathomable, lol. As much as I give my husband a hard time about abandoning me to go chill with his bros, I must admit that his ability to maintain friendships is one of the coolest things about him (don’t tell him I said that).

But yeah, so, to get back to the point, Unbearable Weight represents beautifully this magical, fantastical phenomenon of human existence that deserves to be more celebrated and glorified in our society, and I love it for that reason. I’d love to see this become more of a thing.