I wonder if anyone else has noticed this trend in pop music. Specifically, the upbeat, danceable kind of pop – I’m not talking about pop ballads, which have always been and will always be a thing. Since I noticed this, I can’t stop thinking about it, and pondering what it might mean.

I write this not as any kind of critic or expert, or even that big of a fan. I’m just some random person who’s been alive in America for 30-some years, sometimes listening to the radio. It would be interesting to see if anyone who is actually knowledgeable about pop culture over the last few decades had anything to say about this, or if they could disprove my theory.

Here it is: I’ve noticed that, over the last ten, fifteen years or so, pop song lyrics have become, in general, much more, shall we say, cocky. Overconfident, conceited, full of this spirit of “it’s all about me, I don’t need anyone.” “I’m so hot, everyone wants me, but they’re all just playthings to me.” A lot of talk about getting money and nice things. You see it in both male and female pop singers.

Yes, obviously Madonna did “Material Girl” in the ‘80s, and BSB did “We’ve Got It Goin’ On” (which, while playfully boastful, isn’t even quite the brand of cockiness that I’m talking about) in the ‘90s; but I feel like these examples were just occasions, not indicative of the general voice of pop music at the time. Whereas today, you see it everywhere. “Espresso” and “Taste” by Sabrina Carpenter, “thank u, next” and “7 Rings” by Ariana Grande, “FRIENDS” by Anne-Marie and Marshmello, “I’m The One” by Justin Bieber, “Strip That Down” by Liam Payne (may he rest in peace), just to name a few that come to mind. Even Taylor Swift, over the course of fifteen years or so, went from “Love Story” and “You Belong With Me” to “Out Of Style” and “Ready For It” (which is, actually, my favorite of her songs/videos).

I’m comparing these kinds of contemporary songs to the ones that were hugely popular when I was a kid, in the true Golden Age of pop. Yes, I know, everyone says pop music peaked in their youth, but in the case of my generation, who were kids in the late 90s, that is actually true. Britney’s “…Baby One More Time” and “Oops I Did It Again,” Spice Girls’ “Say You’ll Be There” and “Wannabe,” BSB’s “Millenium” and “I Want It That Way,” NSYNC’s “Bye Bye Bye” and “It’s Gonna Be Me,” even your less well-remembered pop hits like “Candy” by Mandy Moore and “Another Dumb Blonde” by Hoku – all of these had an emotional, sincere, vulnerable, well-meaning tone to their lyrics.

Yes, they were sexual, and by no means “that innocent” (lol), but, they tended to talk about relationships with an individual, desiring one individual, or trying to express something important to someone, or to express sadness about a failed relationship.

And yes, sure, you still see these kinds of lyrics today – but not in the flashy, hot pop songs. You tend to see them in the more subdued, soft-rock flavored brand of pop (like Maroon 5 or Teddy Swims or Ed Sheeran), not the fun, danceable ones. Vulnerability and sincerity seem to have lost their sex appeal. It’s like having a conscience is lame now. Caring has become cringe.

I wonder why this is.

Part of me wonders if it is the influence of rap and hip-hop. Mainstream rap and pop are merging, in a lot of ways. You see a lot more crossover these days than you ever did in my youth: rap stars featured on pop tracks is really normal nowadays. (The same thing is happening with country and rap right now, interestingly – look at this Morgan Wallen guy, featured on that new song by Moneybagg Yo. I actually am very much here for this flavor of crossover; in my neck of the woods, there’s a huge market for it, and I’ve been waiting for it for a long time.) Rap lyrics do tend to have this cockiness that I’m talking about: “I’m the best, everyone wants me, I’m so good at what I do, I get so much money,” etc. Now, as my loyal readers know, I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop, and am not at all belittling that genre or its themes. I just think it’s interesting to see how rap culture has become more and more influential on pop culture.

Or, is it caused by something else? Is it just that this younger generation loves irony more? Is it just that they are more sad, more jaded, more scarred by early exposure to the toxins of social media and modern life? They are growing up too fast (ever seen those “13 year olds today vs. me at 13” memes?). It seems like this generation has seen too much, too soon, and doesn’t have time or energy for feelings. Judging from their internet humor, they’re the generation who collectively wishes they’d never been born, and is filled with dread about their future, and copes via irony and brainrot; so, I guess this kind of jaded music speaks to them in a way that the sugary, enthusiastic lyrics of early Britney or BSB would not.

Maybe this is the crotchety old lady in me, but, I feel like this younger generation is also more self-centered in general. Not in bad way, necessarily: it’s just that these kids have grown up chronically online, and were isolated during their formative years thanks to COVID; not to mention the explosion of the “self care” movement, and the related pop psych trend of adult children going no-contact with their families of origin as a way to “set boundaries” and “protect their own mental health.” These kids have it easy, in a way; they never had to pick up their family telephone to call their friend on their friend’s family phone, and endure the mortifying ordeal of asking their friend’s mother if so-and-so was around! Much less approaching a person of interest irl and asking them out! Nope, nowadays you can just text “wyd.” These kids are lonely, jaded, and simultaneously too soft and too hard for their age. At risk of sounding like a curmudgeon, I really think all of this has contributed this “all about me, fuck everyone else” attitude that we see in their pop music.

When did this become a thing? Like I said, it’s not completely new, but as far as I can tell only very recently seems to be the norm. I wonder if the turning point wasn’t in the late ‘00s, when Lady Gaga rose to power. She was obviously really innovative, as a pop star. Her lyrics weren’t quite “2020s cocky” yet, but she definitely had this brazen, IDGAF, galvanized, “queen bitch who won’t slow down for no man” kind of quality, that vanity and self-celebration that’s fueled by a deep sadness. Because that’s what it really is, I think: this attitude is the fruit of emotional trauma, of a deep sadness. Sia, who’s probably my favorite pop singer ever, addresses this sadness head-on in her lyrics more than anyone else I’ve heard on mainstream radio. The Weeknd does it, too.

But anyway, Lady Gaga – I remember when “Just Dance” came out, it was a huge deal. It spoke to so many of us kids at that time: “I’m sad, I don’t want to think about my problems, I just want to get wasted and hook up with strangers to numb my pain.” And then, “Poker Face” and “Bad Romance:” both songs about, not being in love, not caring about the other person, but about a manipulative but sexy “situationship,” about people using each other. The lyrics acknowledge how sad this is, while also glamorizing it: the message is, basically, “fuck it, I can’t afford to care anymore.” Lady Gaga was saying these things out loud, in a fun and catchy way, and made it cool. I think it’s generally true that people who really love and idolize her are deeply sad people.

Sadness has really become much more mainstream, these days. When I was a kid, it was weird to be in therapy or on antidepressants. Today, all the cool kids are depressed and on meds and in therapy, or self-diagnosing with all kinds of mental illnesses; it’s actually weird not to be mentally ill now. Which is itself a glaring symptom of a broken culture, IMO, but that’s a whole ‘nother can of worms and a way bigger problem than pop music.

But, this mental illness trend probably underlies the tonal shift in pop music. So I think it’s all of these things – the convergence with rap culture, the jadedness and sadness and self-centeredness of the younger generation – which fuel what I’ve come to think of as 2020’s cockiness in pop music.

None of this is meant in any way as a jab at pop artists or at today’s youth. I remember when I was younger, I hated listening to older people bitch about millennials; I hated that they’d assume something to be true of me just because of what was popular among other people my age, none of whom I even really related to. It wasn’t until I was older, and began to have some more perspective, that I identified strongly as a millennial, and could begin to see what was funny and sad and cool about millennials at large.

Anyway – what I mean is, I’m not trying to say that every individual born after the year 2000 is selfish and immature; nor am I trying to say that music has gotten worse.* I respect Sabrina, Ariana, Taylor, and all the rest; I think they’re talented and cute and good at what they do. I’m just idly observing what I see as an interesting, and perhaps telling, trend.

*That being said, though, early ‘90s pop will always be superior to all other eras, as previously stated.