ETA: a lot of answers to this particular Question That Keeps Me Up At Night can be found here and here. I wrote this before finding these two sources, both of which clarify much of what I was trying to figure out in the post below. I highly recommend checking them out if you’re as concerned about this topic as I am. I feel like these answer the question I asked below of what someone like St. Louis de Montfort would say about contemporary “clean” pop music, and whether something like Christian-themed dubstep is okay. Apparently, neither of these are actually okay, because it is indeed the very rhythms, the actual unnatural structure of the songs, that are problematic.

Dr. K (who is a brilliant Catholic thinker, I always appreciate his writing) says in his article that music based in rhythm rather than melody is base and uncultured, even primitive. That the music of a well-developed society is more melodic, appealing to the intellect more than the flesh. As someone who used to play the drums, and has always loved rhythm and percussion in general, I’m really not sure how I feel about that. I see his point, completely, and it makes sense, and I believe that he is right; but I wonder, is enjoying rhythm always a bad thing?

As you can see, I still find myself wrestling with this question. Anyway, here is the original post (which is, in fact, not the original post, because I keep updating and revising this post):

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Before converting to Catholicism, I used to think that it didn’t matter what kind of music you listened to; what mattered was that you were a “good person” (whatever that nebulous term even means). My whole life, I’d always been embarrassed by much of my musical taste, because I was aware that it was very lowbrow and not the kind of thing to discuss around someone that I wanted to impress; but, I didn’t worry about the actual morality of it. But then, in 2012, I started looking into the Faith, and began to worry that there might be more to it.

Maybe I should change my habits? Or maybe it didn’t really matter, as long as I did all the right things otherwise? I remained very conflicted, and continued listening to my shitty profane music, albeit with a troubled conscience (if you checked this blog before a month or so ago, you may remember my previous post on this topic, in which I yet again demonstrated the mental gymnastics I’d perform in order to justify my listening habits) – all the way up until very recently. To make a long story short: I finally found a solid church to attend, and sought advice from a priest there, and was informed that willfully listening to impure content is, indeed, a venial sin — always.

So, with one or two brief sentences, that good priest basically laid this question to rest, for me: this question which had weighed on me for over a decade. Secular pop radio is generally bad.

But I still find myself wondering about exactly what, then, is permissible. Unlike in the aforementioned previous version of this post, I am no longer pretending to have arrived at a final answer. I’m just wondering aloud here:

Is it only songs with impure or sinful content (i.e. those that celebrate or make light of satanism, greed, envy, murder, drugs, sexual sin/promiscuity, etc.) that are bad to listen to? Or, is everything that’s contemporary or popular bad? Does being played on pop radio automatically make something bad? Or, is it just that, in order to find the few clean songs, you’d have to sit and listen through a bunch of bad ones, so that’s why it’s advised not to listen to pop radio at all?

I kind of assume this to be the case (maybe I should have grilled the priest further, but I truly hate to bother priests, even more than I hate to bother regular people). Because it seems like not every single song that’s popular and secular is bad – right?

Just a couple of examples that come to mind are “Show Me The Meaning of Being Lonely” by BSB, “All Time Low” by Jon Bellion, “What I’ve Done” by Linkin Park, and “Chandelier” by Sia. None of these glorify sin. They talk about it, but they’re not celebrating it the way a lot of mainstream hip-hop does. – But, are they still problematic, simply because they deal with themes of worldly cares and struggles? Or because they are basically Godless, just complaining and whining with no mention of God or of any kind of spiritual sense of hope? You’re just wallowing in the world, then, aren’t you? Isn’t it problematic to just whine and vent about your sadness (or even glorify that sadness) if you’re not putting a Christian spin on it, if you’re not keeping in mind the hope of redemption?

Another thing that got me reconsidering all of this was, shortly before consulting this priest, I read St. Louis de Montfort’s “Secret of the Rosary.” In it, he made one quick mention in some clause somewhere of people who listen to “evil music:” implying that doing so is obviously not something that a Catholic should do.

Which set off alarm bells in my head right away, because, what kind of “evil music” could he possibly be referring to, in 1710 France? I’m no expert on music history, but I’m pretty sure they didn’t have anything that even came close to rivaling the profanity of even our cleanest pop music today. “Chandelier” and “All Time Low,” by St. Louis’s standards, would probably be “evil,” don’t you think? Not only because of the themes, but also simply because of the way they sound. Maybe music that sounds a certain way – like, music that speaks to and excites the flesh, or the emotions, rather than the mind – is automatically evil?

If that’s the case, then is Matthew Parker’s “Light of Dawn” evil because it is dubstep, even though the content is Christian? Or, is it sinful to listen to pop music if the lyrics are in a language I don’t understand (like this one, which is one of my all time favorite songs ever)? Or what about “Dragostea din tei“? Please, don’t tell me the Numa Numa song is sinful!

I wish I could pick St. Louis’s brain about this!

Because (bit of backstory here) I have the misfortune of having always really loved really bad music. Going all the way back to my childhood. I wish I could be like some of my smart and sophisticated friends, who find mainstream contemporary pop and hip-hop just tiring and gross and stupid, preferring cool indie or folk or retro music. I wish I were that cool! I just don’t have a taste for any of that highbrow stuff. The music that I like, I like because it affects my emotions and my flesh: the basest parts of me.

Which is funny, because I truly don’t care for impure content in books or TV/movies. I’ve always hated smut; it is just cringey, it does nothing for me and doesn’t tempt me at all. But rap songs about drugs, cash, strip clubs, and huge butts? Those just really do something to me. I love that shit.

I’ve never quite figured out why this is. Maybe because it is so removed from me, so un-relatable. With my AvPD and history of EDs, I’m basically an extremely repressed and avoidant person with shitty self-esteem and a terrible relationship with my own flesh (I often refer it, to my husband’s great annoyance, as “the meat tank”), and furthermore, have always lived in mortal terror of conflict, of offending someone, of getting in trouble. So, perhaps, these hip-hop songs, which are so visceral, physical, boastful, shameless, and confrontational, so everything that I am not – perhaps they speak to some deeply repressed part of me, and breathe life into it. Who knows.

For Lent this year, I’ve been listening only to classical and sacred music. Now, I’m wondering if I ought to continue this resolution permanently. The thought of doing that is awfully depressing. I’ve already resolved, since talking to that priest, to quit listening to the vulgar stuff, the stuff that celebrates sin. I figured that I could still listen to the stuff that’s not vulgar. But maybe I ought to stop listening to that, too?

Is it always bad to consume media that excites the emotions in a non-religious way? (I’m also thinking here about books or TV/movies that have romantic storylines – even if they don’t have any graphic content. Is it bad to love romance stories? This should probably be a post for another day.) We know that the passions are not a worthwhile thing, generally. But they’re not always bad, right? It’s a good (but not necessary) thing to feel passionately attracted to your spouse. It’s a good (but not necessary) thing to feel love and fondness for your family and friends, and to feel sadness when something bad happens to them. It’s a good (but not necessary) thing to be moved to tears by meditating on Christ’s Passion or on our own sins. But, all of these are instances where the passions are serving our soul on its journey heavenward. Listening to secular music that arouses emotion about secular things: is this always a bad thing to do?

I should probably find a chance to talk to a priest about this, but, for the time being, I assume that it is safe to approach this in the same way that I currently approach fast days as someone not super advanced spiritually and still in the grip of an ED: I don’t think it’s a good idea for someone like me to strictly fast from food on fast days, because of the state that I’m in. Similarly, at the stage I’m currently in spiritually, I really don’t know if it would be a good idea for me to give up all “fun” music entirely. Probably, when I make more progress, I will desire to give up more things. But would it be helpful to push myself to go ahead and give it all up now?

Maybe it would. But, I am weak. I’m still living in the world, and still desirous of some worldly pleasures. And I think it is probably at least better, and a move in the right direction, to start by giving up the explicitly sinful stuff (which, if I may be allowed to whine for a minute, is an embarrassingly big deal, for me, considering the kind of stuff I typically listen to). I am at least glad that I am making progress. I feel like maybe a good place to start is to only listen to things that I would be totally comfortable listening to with my five-year-old daughter present.

Or? I am curious to hear what others think. Do other practicing Catholics listen to any secular pop/rock/hip-hop at all? Do we just limit ourselves to the clean stuff? Or do we eschew it entirely?